In His Grace

"We believe"....(loved it too much not to share)

2011-12-12T11:04:00.004-06:00

"We believe in Marx, Freud, and Darwin
We believe everything is OK
as long as you don’t hurt anyone
to the best of your definition of hurt,
and to the best of your knowledge.
We believe in sex before, during, and
after marriage.
We believe that adultery is fun.
We believe that sodomy’s OK.
We believe that taboos are taboo.
We believe that everything’s getting better
despite evidence to the contrary.
The evidence must be investigated
And you can prove anything with evidence.
We believe there’s something in horoscopes
UFO’s and bent spoons.
Jesus was a good man just like Buddha,
Mohammed, and ourselves.
Jesus was a good moral teacher though we think
His good morals teachings were bad, because we don’t do what he says.
We believe that all religions are basically the same-
at least the one that we read was.
They all believe in love and goodness.
They only differ on matters of creation,
sin, heaven, hell, God, and salvation.
We believe that after death comes the Nothing
Because when you ask the dead what happens
they say nothing.
If death is not the end, if the dead have lied, then its
compulsory heaven for all
excepting perhaps
Hitler, Stalin, and Genghis Kahn
We believe in Masters and Johnson
What’s selected is average.
What’s average is normal.
What’s normal is good.
We believe that man is essentially good.
It’s only his behavior that lets him down.
This is the fault of society.
Society is the fault of conditions.
Conditions are the fault of society.
We believe that each man must find the truth that
is right for him.
Reality will adapt accordingly.
The universe will readjust.
History will alter.
We believe that there is no absolute truth
excepting the truth
that there is no absolute truth.
We believe in the rejection of creeds,
And the flowering of individual thought.

Collectively, we might as well believe that pigs can fly."

(I'm not sure who wrote the above passage, but I loved it!

I believe that Jesus is the Son of God, who came to be the sacrificial Lamb and restore Fellowship with the One True God...Yahweh! I believe that if you believe in your heart and confess with your mouth, and repent of your sins (turn from them...change your life to look more like His...and this will be known by your fruit) that you will live with Jesus forever and ever, in glorious union with the One, the Great I AM.

I believe with all of my heart that there is a heaven and there is a hell, and it's my greatest wish that no one I love will end up eternally separated from me, or more importantly their Maker (and that is His wish too, but it's YOUR choice.

Read your Bible, enter a TRUE and LASTING REALationship with God!

Before it is too late...

Destiny)

Please don't drink and drive....

2011-12-07T10:39:00.004-06:00

This is what our van looked like after being hit by a truck driven by a drunk driver, running a red light, and going almost 70 miles per hour.

My children are miracles to be alive, and definitely had angels protecting them that night! I was life flighted to the hospital and healed miraculously through prayer (thank you, Jesus!!). I was life flighted in and discharged out within a few hours.

Nothing but a miracle can explain many things that have come out of this accident. I don't wish it upon anyone, but thank God for allowing us to see so many of His amazing ways through it all!

This is the first time I've shared this video publicly. I still haven't written the story. It's a daunting task because there are SO MANY facets to it, but I know it will happen in God's timing.

I thank Him every day for protecting us. Even the months leading up to the accident, I see His hand in protecting our lives.

Keep your eyes out for my story because once God gives me the words they will be posted here on my blog. Through it all I give Him all the glory!!!

The Baptist white lie cake...

2011-10-25T23:52:00.000-05:00

THE BAPTIST WHITE LIE CAKE

Author Unknown

Have you ever told a white lie? You are going to love this, especially all of the ladies who bake for church events.

Alice Grayson was to bake a cake for the Baptist Church Ladies' Group in Tuscaloosa , but forgot to do it until the last minute. She remembered it the morning of the bake sale and after rummaging through cabinets, found an angel food cake mix & quickly ...made it while drying her hair, dressing, and helping her son pack for scout camp.

When she took the cake from the oven, the center had dropped flat and the cake was horribly disfigured and she exclaimed, "Oh dear, there is not time to bake another cake!" This cake was important to Alice because she did so want to fit in at her new church, and in her new community of friends.

So, being inventive, she looked around the house for something to build up the center of the cake. She found it in the bathroom - a roll of toilet paper. She plunked it in and then covered it with icing. Not only did the finished product look beautiful, it looked perfect. And, before she left the house to drop the cake by the church and head for work, Alice woke her daughter and gave her some money and specific instructions to be at the bake sale the moment it opened at 9:30 and to buy the cake and bring it home.

When the daughter arrived at the sale, she found the attractive, perfect cake had already been sold. Amanda grabbed her cell phone and called her mom.

Alice was horrified-she was beside herself! Everyone would know! What would they think? She would be ostracized, talked about, ridiculed! All night, Alice lay awake in bed thinking about people pointing fingers at her and talking about her behind her back.

The next day, Alice promised herself she would try not to think about the cake and would attend the fancy luncheon/bridal shower at the home of a fellow church member and try to have a good time. She did not really want to attend because the hostess was a snob who more than once had looked down her nose at the fact that Alice was a single parent and not from the founding families of Tuscaloosa , but having already RSVP'd , she couldn't think of a believable excuse to stay home.

The meal was elegant, the company was definitely upper crust old south and to Alice 's horror, the cake in question was presented for dessert!

Alice felt the blood drain from her body when she saw the cake! She started out of her chair to tell the hostess all about it, but before she could get to her feet, the Mayor's wife said, "what a beautiful cake!"

Alice , still stunned, sat back in her chair when she heard the hostess (who was a prominent church member) say, "Thank you, I baked it myself."

Alice smiled and thought to herself,

"God is good."

Month one....kids and school.

2011-09-12T08:56:00.004-05:00

Well, we are entering in to week FOUR of public school which absolutely blows me away. Time just flies by, and sometimes I just wish there was a slow-mo button on life. The kids seem to be adjusting well to this new change in life. So many changes in the last year and a half. I'm amazed at how they just go with the flow and seem to adapt to each of these new seasons of life. I'm very proud of these kiddos. Seeing as it's been almost a month I thought I'd journal a little update on their first month in school.

Noah is doing great. At first I thought I should place him in the third grade. Due to our accident, we only finished half of our third grade curriculum, and I wasn't sure if he would be ready for fourth grade yet. The school spent three days with us in preparation for placing them, and Noah took all of the third grade TAKS tests and passed with flying colors. They said there was no way they would keep him in third grade.

The first week was rough on him. He's been home with me the longest, and he remembers the bad things that happened to him in Kinder that made us pull him out and start homeschooling to begin with, so he was begging me to pull him out the first night of school. He even pulled the "you'll never have to buy me another thing or take me to Chuck E. Cheese" card through his sobs.

It took him a few days, but by the end of the week he said his week was "awesome". He even ran for class President, which shocked me! He didn't win, but he did receive five votes. Pretty good for the new kid :-)

He came home last week and told me that one of his teachers pulled him out of class to tell him that she was really impressed with him, and how much she enjoyed having him in her class. I think the teachers are going the extra mile to help him acclimate, which this Mom truly appreciates!!!

The one thing that makes me kind of sad for him is he has no one to play with at recess. He says he sits on a wall by himself. I asked him why he doesn't play with his friends and he said it's because they are all in study hall making up their homework and reading.

I'm praying for him that a) He doesn't allow himself to fall backwards because apparently the friends he has are the ones that are always in study hall; b) That he will stay the kind, considerate Noah that I know he is and will be a good influence on his class mates; and c) That he will continue to go with the flow in this new change in his life and that he won't let it all overwhelm him. He's a pretty well adjusted child and I pray it stays that way!

Arielle will give you a thumbs down when asked how school is going. Secretly, I think she likes it a little bit, but she has her struggles.

First of all, from what I hear she is in the noisiest class in first grade, which I think comes with it's punishments. She's not happy that they have to sit boy/girl/boy/girl at lunch because they are so loud. None of my kids are very happy about school lunches, but I make them eat them at least three days a week because PB+J and Lunchables will get old REALLY quickly!

Arielle is the one who...challenged me...the most during homeschooling. If there was something she didn't want to learn then she would just shut down on me. She would throw herself down on my lap and start crying if she couldn't "get" something, and she didn't give herself enough time or patience to try to learn it.

She also has the disadvantage of her brother only being 17 months younger than her, so I've kind of held her back so I could teach the both of them together, because remember home-schooling was our plan. Public schooling was not. I knew I had plenty of time to get her "caught up". Actually, in home-schooling I don't think there is such thing as "caught up"...we just went at our own pace. So she is facing struggles that some other kids might not be facing, like in reading.

They showed me what a kindergartner "should" be reading by the end of K, and I was like, "Are you kidding me?". She's a little behind on her reading, but the teachers assured me that there will be other kids in her grade that are at the exact same level of reading if not lower. I've been working very hard with her at night to get her "caught up", and she's doing well. She stresses herself out to the point of tears over her "AR" reading tests, but so far she's doing well at them.

Another thing she would refuse to learn before school was to tie her shoes. Guess who learned to tie her shoes within the first week of school? She's such a stinker, but I love her little diva self :-)

Here is my prayer for her...a) That she would relax a little and enjoy learning new things, like reading! I love to read and would love for all of my kids to have that same love for it too; b) That she would not contribute to being a part of being "the noisiest class in first grade", and that she will remember the lessons of manners and respect that I've tried to instill in to her; c) That she would continue to go with the flow in this crazy life that God has given us. Mommy doesn't always have all of the answers, and I pray that she will trust God that He loves us and is doing what is best for us right now.

Now on to Shepard, my doodle-bug. That boy. They all make my heart smile, for real :-)

Shepard LOVES Kindergarten, most days. There are some times when he'll say it's "too long", but for the most part he is the one that has been the easiest adjustment, which is funny because we thought he would be the hardest! He always comes home and proudly shows me the things he did that day.

We work on his reading every night, which has become a special time for us and him. We used to read to our kids every night, but over the last year or so that has stopped, so I'm glad that public schooling has forced us to start doing that again.

I got a call from Shepard's teacher last week and she thanked me for having him so well prepared for Kinder. She said he has such good manners and knows every skill that he needs to know for a successful Kindergarten year. That made me feel good, although it came at the expense of Arielle struggling. We take the good with the bad in life, right?

Shepard says he has lots of friends, and that they have fun at recess, which they have finally been able to have now that it isn't hotter than Hades outside! His teacher told me he knows when to be quiet and has fun when it's time to have fun, and that he is a joy to have in her class. From what I hear she is an amazing teacher, so I'm thinking this will benefit him so much! If Arielle and Shepard are taught how to read by someone else, then by all means PLEASE do so, because that is the least fun thing about homeschooling, IMO :-)

My prayer for Shepard...a) That we will learn to read together with the assistance of his teacher; b) That he will continue to remember his manners and not be influenced by the kids who might not have been taught them at home; c) That he will continue to go with the flow, and keep trusting God no matter where He takes us.

This morning Noah jumped out of bed ready and willing for school. He's always the first one ready now, and seems to be happy to go to school. Arielle is my little grump in the morning, and takes a bit of threatening for her to get ready. Shepard is just a sleepy head and takes things slowly, but gets them done.

We are getting in to a pattern...wake up, get dressed, watch Curious George while eating breakfast, devotional, walk to school. The day goes by really quickly for me, but I'm sure it drags forever for them. I feel guilty at times when I'm taking a nap because I know my guys are over there working, but this break has been much needed for me.

I'm slowly getting my house in order again. It's been nice to not have to find babysitters for doctors appointments and PT/OT, or to have to drag them everywhere with me, BUT I do miss them very much.

I'm not sure how long this public school season will last. Like everything else in our life, I will keep praying about it and leave it in God's Hands. I trust Him with our lives....literally.

Anyway, that's the update for month one. I'm praying that they continue to thrive and learn new things, and I get excited to hear about the new things they are learning.

I'm also praying that they don't learn too many "new things" that I wouldn't approve of and have diligently worked to shelter them from, but know that God has that all under control as well.

Thanks for reading, and thank you for all who have been praying us through this time in our life!!!

God bless <3

A complaint and a thanks....

2011-09-08T13:05:00.002-05:00

Many of you know what happened to our family on April 24th. It changed our lives in more ways than I ever thought possible.

I remember every day my blessings, because they are HUGE! Two of my children should be dead, and they are not only alive but completely healed...thank you, Jesus. This...THIS is what gets me through my days.

There are "agencies" in place to help people that are victims of crimes like this, but I'm telling you that you have to jump through a million hoops and do the near impossible to get help from these "advocates". Here it is almost five months later and we haven't received any help from them.

We did get help from Medicaid, but even they are sending letters to us now saying they didn't cause this accident so they shouldn't have to pay for it. We've been struggling with insurance companies that don't want to pay, lawyers that don't want to help, Medicaid that doesn't want to pay, doctors that didn't want to see us, advocates that don't want to advocate, and it is more frustrating than I can even express in words.

Many people "think" that the insurance company will cover all of the costs with these things, but it doesn't. We will probably end up very, very much in debt over the choice of this one man. BUT, my kids are alive and that makes it all okay. I don't care if we end up a million dollars in debt because of this one dude...my kids are worth more than that times a million.

Now for my thanks...THANK YOU for being the church, the body of Christ, and helping us over the last five months. YOU are what has gotten us through...financially, spiritually, emotionally. YOU have given up your time, tears, prayers and money to help our family.

I've learned a big lesson from this...THANK GOD FOR A CHURCH BODY!!!

I'm talking about LCC and beyond. FFC, PBC, DBC, and just random friends and family who have shown us love. The love you've shown our family is what helps me get through my days, especially on a day where I'm so stinkin' frustrated because these "advocates" won't help us unless we get something that I don't have access to....and I'm thankful TO YOU for all that you have done.

I'm thankful to be a part of the Body of Christ <3

Lukewarm and Loving It...

2011-08-31T09:28:00.006-05:00

This is a message that I think everyone should listen to at least once in your life...if not more. It's always so powerful when I listen to it that I end up on my face before the Lord begging him to help me not be Lukewarm.

It's so easy to get caught up in this world and all of the trappings around us. I want to be on fire for God!! I don't want ANYTHING else to come before Him and his will for my life.

If you haven't listened to this message then I highly recommend you do, but prepare to be challenged!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pBhqrtMqrv8

PS...his books "Crazy Love" and "Forgotten God" are must reads, as well.

PPS...I have apparently forgotten how to embed videos on my blog, so highlight, copy and past the link above to take you to the video. It's amazing!

Local friends and praying friends, please read....

2011-08-30T22:22:00.002-05:00

My Daddy is in the midst of starting a mission center/church in Caldwell, Texas. It's called Cade Lake Community Chapel, and is a part of the Unity of The Brethren. Caldwell is in Burleson County, which is one of the poorest in the state of Texas, and Cade Lake is the poorest area in that county. It has been put on my parents heart to help these people. It's a community of, I believe, 800 people...not sure how many homes are represented out of that 800.

I have a request for each of my friends....

For those of you who are praying friends, please pray for this God endeavor. God has opened many doors for this to happen and there has been no doubt who has been at the center of it all. It's still a stressful thing to do/start for any person/people, and there are several people who have given their time, money, sweat and tears to make this happen. I'm asking for you all to pray for this mission center, as the crime in this area is pretty high. I'm asking that you would pray that many people will see God's LOVE in action, and will be drawn to an everlasting relationship with the One who holds eternity in His hands. I'm asking that this community will be changed, restored and redeemed...and that God would help use this little church in amazing ways.

Okay, that was the "macro" request. Here comes the "micro" request...

There is one man who has helped my parents a lot in the construction part of putting this building together. He's been a huge part of the "sweat" that has gone in to making it happen. This man used to be a drug addict, and has just recently gotten out of jail. He does NOT want to be the old man he was, and is truly seeking a relationship with God.

My Dad called me today and asked me to go to Alamo Thrift Store to find this man some clothes that he would feel comfortable wearing to church. Everything he owns has holes and paint, etc...and he doesn't feel comfortable wearing clothes like that to church. I thought before I went searching the thrift stores that I'd make the request here first. I know how huge the hearts are of the people around here. I've seen it first hand.

I also know that God can work this out that somewhere, someone is looking to donate these exact sizes and is just waiting for this opportunity.

Here is that opportunity.

The man wears size 32 waist, 34 length pants and size large shirts. If there is anyone that has any jeans, slacks, shirts that they could donate could you please have them to me by Friday. It would bless me, it would bless my Daddy, it would bless this man, and above all else it would bless God!!

Thank you in advance for reading and praying for this man and this little chapel in this little community and the BIG CHANGES that God has in store for all of them!!!

Matthew 25: 31-46

One of the hardest things I've EVER done...

2011-08-22T13:35:00.003-05:00

Restore our fortunes, Lord,
as streams renew the desert.

Those who plant in tears
will harvest with shouts of joy.

They weep as they go to plant their seed,
but they sing as they return with the harvest.

Psalm 126:4-6

Big changes in life...

2011-08-19T19:00:00.001-05:00

I will be the first to admit that this has been a very, very, VERY hard year for us. I'm not trying to seek sympathy, but I would like for my home-school friends to understand my heart in my choice to put the kids in to public school. It's been one of the...actually the most difficult decision I have ever made, and I can't tell you how many tears have been shed...even today, over this decision.

I am not in a place, emotionally, to give my kids everything they need. I need a break from doing "it all". We are now in a much smaller house, which means we are all on top of each other. The majority of our home-school stuff is in storage, which does me no good whatsoever. I don't have as much patience as I had before the accident.

Financially, we are playing a major game of catch up. I'm at a place where I think I can help out a little bit outside of the home financially and feel like I should, but can not do it while homeschooling the kids. I'm only one person. I wish I were superwoman...the woman that could be a patient, loving mother; home-school my children from K-12; have healthy meals on the table three meals a day; have a spotless house; and help out financially, but I'm no superwoman.

I have felt like God is leading me to put the kids in to the school next door to us. I resisted it. I finally gave in last week. We've spent the last few days at the school testing, and all of the kids are at grade level or above.

The school is an exemplary school, and literally four minutes walking distance from my home. I can see the playground they will be playing on from my front yard. I'll be able to go have lunch with them, volunteer, go on field trips with them, and be very involved (and believe me, I will be!!).

I am praying over them that they will excel at school and that they will make good friends. I'm praying that they will be leaders and not followers. I'm praying that they will not be influenced by wordly standards, and that I've instilled (and will keep instilling) a Biblical worldview in to their lives. I'm praying that they will go in with a strong godly foundation.

I have had the hardest time letting go. I love them so much and have LOVED homeschooling them. I'm broken-hearted that I am not in that place right now. I'm most definitely leaving my options open to home-school them again in the future.

No one knows what the future holds except God, and I trust Him. He protected the kids against a 70 mile per hour truck hitting them within an inch, so I know He has them covered at school as well.

Anyway, that's my heart. I'm not really trying to justify, although it sounds that way, just trying to explain why the sudden change in our lives. Prayers are ALWAYS appreciated!!!

I will be praying for all of my friends kids this school year...public, private or home-school, that they have a good year and make wise choices.

Today seems like a "normal" day...

2011-05-09T22:41:00.004-05:00

Yesterday was the best Mother's Day I have ever had, having all of my babies alive and relatively healthy is SUCH A BLESSING FROM GOD ABOVE! I have an amazing story to share of God's miracles literally poured in to our life, but I can't tell it quite yet.

You all know how that must be driving me crazy, right???

It's so good though and I'd be happy to tell you face to face! I really can't blog well right now because I'm left with only my left hand to type with...you can imagine the peck, peck, pecking going on right now.

I have to tell of something that touched my heart more than anything else yesterday. My kids combined their money from gift cards that have been given to them recently and they gave me a beautiful silver ring and neckalace that says "Mom" on them. I cherish them so much!

Even more than that though, I cherish a conversation Noah and I had yesterday.

He told me, "Mommy, this is the first day it doesn't feel like we were in an accident".

I said, "Really? Why?".

He said, "Because I actually got to walk in to church (on his crutches) and I got to stand up during worship. We sang four songs and I got tired, but I stood the whole time. Then Daddy and I went to Walmart and then we went a restaurant, and today feels like a normal day before the accident".

Even though I was unbelievably tired by this point because of our "normal day", it absolutely warmed my heart hearing his heart and his comfort at feeling "normal" again.

I told him, "Every day will be better, baby, and a little more "normal".

Every day is a day closer to complete healing, and God has been with us every step of the way!

As much as I like milk, I prefer steak much more!!

2011-04-05T14:45:00.000-05:00

Proverbs 4

Get Wisdom at Any Cost

1 Listen, my sons, to a father’s instruction;
pay attention and gain understanding.
2 I give you sound learning,
so do not forsake my teaching.
3 For I too was a son to my father,
still tender, and cherished by my mother.
4 Then he taught me, and he said to me,
“Take hold of my words with all your heart;
keep my commands, and you will live.
5 Get wisdom, get understanding;
do not forget my words or turn away from them.
6 Do not forsake wisdom, and she will protect you;
love her, and she will watch over you.
7 The beginning of wisdom is this: Get[a] wisdom.
Though it cost all you have,[b] get understanding.
8 Cherish her, and she will exalt you;
embrace her, and she will honor you.
9 She will give you a garland to grace your head
and present you with a glorious crown.”

10 Listen, my son, accept what I say,
and the years of your life will be many.
11 I instruct you in the way of wisdom
and lead you along straight paths.
12 When you walk, your steps will not be hampered;
when you run, you will not stumble.
13 Hold on to instruction, do not let it go;
guard it well, for it is your life.
14 Do not set foot on the path of the wicked
or walk in the way of evildoers.
15 Avoid it, do not travel on it;
turn from it and go on your way.
16 For they cannot rest until they do evil;
they are robbed of sleep till they make someone stumble.
17 They eat the bread of wickedness
and drink the wine of violence.

18 The path of the righteous is like the morning sun,
shining ever brighter till the full light of day.
19 But the way of the wicked is like deep darkness;
they do not know what makes them stumble.

20 My son, pay attention to what I say;
turn your ear to my words.
21 Do not let them out of your sight,
keep them within your heart;
22 for they are life to those who find them
and health to one’s whole body.
23 Above all else, guard your heart,
for everything you do flows from it.
24 Keep your mouth free of perversity;
keep corrupt talk far from your lips.
25 Let your eyes look straight ahead;
fix your gaze directly before you.
26 Give careful thought to the[c] paths for your feet
and be steadfast in all your ways.
27 Do not turn to the right or the left;
keep your foot from evil.

Heart change...

2011-04-03T16:30:00.005-05:00

I realized recently that I haven't blogged in FOREVER! I'm not sure if I've been in a quiet season so much, since I still blabber on Facebook all of the time, but quiet in my writing perhaps. I see that the last time I wrote was before we moved back to Houston. I read it and almost laughed at how much God has changed my heart, from the girl nine years ago who swore she would never move back to Houston.

I moved here, not knowing what God had in store, or why He was moving me from a place my heart adored. A place where I thought I would raise my children and grow old with my husband. No, God had other plans. I still wait patiently to see those plans unfold, but I stand amazed at how He has set about changing my heart.

Chris lost his job a few days before Christmas. Of course, I asked God why...? Why would He move me here, rip me from the place I loved and then let my whole world crumble? We ended up moving in to a much smaller house, which has been a blessing in disguise. I feel like we aren't drowning under a sea of bills, first with our business in San Antonio and then with the house we were renting when we first moved here. It's been so freeing to live within our means...thank you, Lord!

Not long ago, Chris and I were wondering if we should move back to San Antonio. We don't really have anything here now. The "great" job we moved here for fell through. Our home is in San Antonio, the home that I loved so much. We had a great church and great friends back there.

As we were discussing this, my heart just broke in half. I realized that I didn't want to move back!! After nine months of being here, I've come to think of this as home. Even in our little rented duplex that is crowded and doesn't have space for all of our stuff, I'm happy. Truly and honestly happy. I love the new friends we've made...actually adore them! I've been getting more and more connected in our new church home, a church that is amazing! I stand in awe at how the spirit of the Lord descends on that body of believers, and I get to be a witness to Him moving in people's hearts and lives! I love the mentoring/discipleship program that I'm a part of at LCC. I love all of the people God has brought in to my life, the children and the adults. I don't know the rhyme or reason for it all, but I love how God has been knitting my heart with this community.

I love the freedom I've had here, a freedom that I didn't have in San Antonio. I'm not even sure why I have more freedom here, I just do. I don't even think I can adequately express what that means, or how it has happened. It just is.

None of this is said to take ANYTHING away from my time in San Antonio, because it was amazing too. It just astounds me at how God can change a person's heart. From loathing to loving. From swearing I'd never move back to not wanting to leave. San Antonio was a beautiful season of my life, one I will always treasure. It offered me spiritual growth and friendships like I had never known before. I thank God so much for my eight years in that place that was a little slice of heaven. If He wants me to move back there one day then I would gladly do it, in a heartbeat!

But, I have felt deep in my heart that I'm in a new season. A season where this is my home. It has been a season sown with tears and laughter, sorrow and joy. I'm not sure what God has in store for us, but whatever it is I'm thankful to serve a God who is the master at changing hearts!

Friendships built on trust...

2010-07-06T11:28:00.000-05:00

(Taken from "A Journey with God: For Teachers")

A friend loves at all time, and a brother is born for a difficult time.

Proverbs 17:17

All genuine friendships are built upon honesty and trust. Without trust, friends soon drift apart. But with trust, friends can stay friends for a lifetime.

As Christians, we should always try to be trustworthy, encouraging, loyal friends. And, we should be thankful for the people who are loyal friends to us. When we treat other people with honesty and respect we not only make more friends, but we also keep the friendships we've already made.

Do you want friends you can trust? Then start by being a friend you can trust. That's the way to make your friendships strong, stronger and strongest!

"In friendship, God opens your eyes to the glories of Himself." Joni Eareckson Tada

"In God's economy you will be hard-pressed to find many examples of successful "Lone Rangers"." Luci Swindoll

A prayer for the journey...

Thank you Lord, for the Friend I have in Jesus. And, thank you for the dear friends You have given me, the friends who enrich my life. I pray for them today, and ask your blessings upon them. Amen

Want to hear God laugh? Tell Him your plans.

2010-06-09T23:27:00.004-05:00

Want to hear God laugh? Tell Him your plans.

This seems to be my tag line for life right now. Everything about my future and the life that "I" had "planned" has been turned completely upside down. I'm, honestly, in a state of mourning the dreams that I had for the future of our family. My heart is breaking at the thought of leaving the home and town and friends and church that I love so dearly. There are moments when I don't feel strong enough to walk away from it all.

But, God has other plans for us. I know from His Word that He has good plans for us (Jer. 29:11). That doesn't mean that there won't be heartache when I die to my own plans and embrace and follow His.

When we bought our house I fell completely in love with it. Yes, it's a manufactured home. Yes, it's in the country. Yes, it's not perfect, but I LOVED it! It was my HOME!

I wanted to raise my kids here and have my grandkids visit us in this home. I absolutely love this area and wanted my kids to be raised around these rivers and lakes. I love my church home and was hoping that my kids would be like so many of the awesome youth that have come out of our church home! I love my homeschooling support group and was really feeling connected and part of this community. My kids have friends and playdates and are thriving in this place we call home.

I love our business. I remember our kids helping us paint the walls and carry carpet samples to racks. Sheppy was two and a half and toddled here and there. I imagined Noah getting a little bit older and helping his Daddy run the store. Then Arielle...then Shepard. I imagined it being in our family for generations to come, kind of like Starke furniture a few doors down. I had no intentions of moving...ever.

I moved a lot growing up and the thing that I crave is to have roots and security. I was sure that this would be where we lived forever. If not in this home, then at least in this town. Chris had said that he would like to build a nicer home one day, which I would have been okay with, but at least we would still be near all that we loved so dearly.

Well, God has other plans.

Let me just say, at the risk of possibly offending some of my friends and family (I'll apologize in advance), that I'm not a big fan of Houston.

Not. At. All.

When we moved from there eight years ago I swore that I would never move back.

Ever. Ever, ever.

Boy, how God must have laughed when I said that I'd never move back.

Our business has been a struggle from the beginning. We opened just as the bottom was falling out of the economy. We had a new President, and stimulus after stimulus was being passed (starting with the previous President). People have been holding on to their money tightly. Every flooring and furniture store that we know in the SA area and surrounding areas have been struggling, so we have not been alone in our struggle.

My husband is consistently stressed about work, but I will say that God has grown us SO MUCH as we have learned to be dependent on Him in all of our struggles. If we didn't get paid for two months (which happened) then we had only Him to rely on. If we didn't have the money to pay our bills (which happened often) then prayer was what got us through. The last few years have been a time of spiritual growth for both of us, which makes it even harder for me to leave because of the fruit that I've seen produced in our family in our time here.

We have prayed and prayed and prayed and prayed some more for God to open up our storehouses here; to bless our business so we wouldn't have to close it down. I know that our prayers haven't gone unheard or unanswered. They just haven't been answered in the way that we had hoped for...

Last December, we were looking for someone to buy in to our company. Chris sent an inquiry to a company in Houston. He knows the people who own it and most of the people who work for this company because they all worked together for many years before we moved. The company said they were not looking to expand that far out of Houston yet, but if we ever decided to move back to Houston that he would have a job waiting for him.

At that time, my husband thought about moving back but I wasn't having it. I thought we should keep trying to make our business work or, at worst, close our store down and have him find a job around here.

He was offered the job in Houston again in April. Again, I was not on board. I love my home, i love my home, i love my home, i love my home...NO! My husband being the kind and generous man that he is let me have my way.

We went on vacation to Galveston a couple of weeks ago and my husband told me that he is miserable where we are now. Not the location, just the place in life with our business. He told me that he really wanted to see what this company has to offer him. They seem to really want him back and he would be lying if he wasn't interested in coming back.

Amazingly, God changed my heart that week. I began to not be so fundamentally against the idea of moving back to Houston. I started looking around the area we had moved from with new eyes and seeing the beauty it offered. Yes, it's not as beautiful as I think the area we would be leaving behind but it was still beautiful.

I started to embrace the fact that my husband had been wanting to make this change for months but it was me holding us back. I realized, with a gentle nudging from my Grandmother, that I was not being the wife that God calls me to be by letting my husband lead our household. God was definitely changing my heart.

We stayed on vacation a couple of extra days to look around for a house. I'm not sure that we fully expected to find a house in that two days but we did ask God to lead us to the house He wanted us to be in.

At first we were completely opposed to looking in certain areas because we had our head set on living in another area. After driving around all afternoon in the area we thought we wanted to live in, with very little luck, we ended up in the area that we had said we didn't want to look at.

We happened upon a beautiful house that had a "for lease or sale" sign on it. Chris told me to get out and look around. I did. It was breathtaking! I came back to the car and told him there was no way we could afford this place. A man was weedeating on the side of the house and I went up to talk to him. I asked if he was the owner and sure enough he was. We got to talking and turns out the house was five dollars less than the top end of our budget for leasing a house! Amazing. Our realtor even told us that this house should be leasing for at least five hundred dollars more a month. We had a few more hurdles to cross to get in to this house but God opened every door WIDE OPEN within 24 hours. It was becoming clear that God wanted us to move back to this area. It's funny because this area is the same area we moved from but I don't ever remember seeing this neighborhood, or seeing the beauty of this town. It feels almost like God is bringing us full circle, for reasons that only He knows.

Chris went in for a meeting with the company that had offered him the job and let them know that he was open to coming to work for them. Those doors opened wide and they are all VERY excited to have him working for them. There were a few other cool things that happened where God quieted my soul on some things that had worried me about us moving back to town, but they are too personal to put out there for everyone to see. I just think it's awesome how God can quiet my soul and tell me to be still and know that He is God.

Well, we came home and asked God to help us close the doors here as easily as He helped us open them there. We put our house on craigslist for lease or sale. After three days and two house showings we found a very nice family who fell in love with our house (I don't blame them because I love it too...lol). They seem like a perfect fit for our home. The man had excellent references and fifteen years work history. He does plumbing, electrical and a/c work (hello, how wonderful is that for a tenant?!?!). They are ready to move in as soon as possible and I really think they will love and appreciate our home as much as we do. They might even be interested in buying it from us in a couple of years.

We had that obstacle down, now all we had left was what to do with our business...? After all of the blood, sweat and tears that we had put in to it we really did not want to just close the doors and walk away. We completely restored this building, a building that was built in 1890 and had not been remodeled since 1950. We put a lot of ourselves in to this business and to just close the doors would have been heartbreaking. We started asking around if anyone wanted to buy it from us for a relatively low price and keep it open. It's a beautiful building in a beautiful location with a rich history.

We had several people interested but most of them were just lip service. Well, we ended up selling it to the man who helped us open the store over three years ago and the man who has been with Chris from the beginning, the owner of our installation crew. The two men went in to partnership together and I'm praying that they will be blessed beyond their wildest dreams. Remember we prayed that God would open up the storehouses for our company and that we wouldn't have to shut the doors. We didn't have to shut the doors and I'm praying that God will be faithful on the other half of that prayer also, even if we are not the ones to reap the benefits. Again, it feels like a full circle.

So there you have it. My plans are being buried and His plans have prevailed, which is the way it should be anyway. It doesn't make it hurt any less. We will miss the home that we have made here terribly. We will miss our friends so much. I know that life will go on for us and for them, but I hope they will never forget us because my friends here have had such a profound impact on my life. I am forever grateful to God for bringing so many beautiful brothers and sisters in to my life. I didn't even know how wonderful fellowship with fellow believers could be until I moved here. My heart is breaking but I know that God cares about every tear that I shed, and that He is here to comfort me and my kids through this new phase of life.

He has exceeded my expectations in so many areas of my life. He has given me a man that is the most amazing husband. He has given me three of the most precious children who bless me more than I could EVER imagine! He has given me a beautiful home that will forever be full of love and laughter and memories that we created together. I know that this next phase in life will be no different. He will exceed my expectations in whatever He has planned for us in the future. I'm looking forward to our future and thankful to know who holds it.

Flash flooding...

2010-06-09T22:36:00.002-05:00

Today the Guadalupe River in New Braunfels and Seguin flooded. I won't even begin to describe the irony in that, but it got me thinking about the time it flash flooded while my best friend and I were tubing it. I went to myspace and searched out my journal post about it and thought "what better place to put this journal than my blog?". It was one of the scariest days of my life and a day that I will NEVER forget!

Written Friday, June 13, 2008

Last years river trip...the scariest day of my life.

I've barricaded myself in the bathroom, once again, to try and get this blog written. I've been promising to write it for a year now, so it's about time I actually do it! I have a "Little People" video keeping my kids occupado, now I've got 30 minutes to get these thoughts down and this journal posted...eek!

As some of you know, my BFF is coming in to town this weekend to go float the river with me. We must be crazy, because Danese and I floated the river last year and almost got ourselves KILLED! Seriously. That sounds like it's over-dramatizing, but it totally IS NOT. It was the scariest moment in my entire life, but I must say I felt pretty durn close to God in that moment.

I'll start at the beginning. We had been planning the river trip for over a month (just as we've been planning the trip tomorrow for over a month...more on that later), and we weren't about to let anything stand in our way of floating that river. Not even the weather. There was a 50% chance of thunderstorms and flash flooding, but the weather looked gorgeous outside! The weather guy had been saying that for the last several days, and I hadn't seen any flash flooding, so we decided to take a chance. Nothing was gonna happen, right? Wrong.

We started our two hour trip on the river, and it was just beautiful. The river was packed with floaters. The water felt great. The sun was shining down on us, and the company was all right (LOL...just kidding Danese :). We were having a good time! We were talking to our fellow floaters, and hanging out...doing the river thang. There were a couple of guys in a boat-like raft w/ paddles, that were pretty much with us from the beginning of our trip. As time passed, we started talking to them.

About half way through our ride, we pulled our inner-tubes off to the side, so my friend could bum a cigarette from them. At this point, it had started sprinkling, and the skies were getting a little bit dark. I had actually brought an umbrella with me on the river, just to be silly. Danese thought I was the biggest dork in the world for bringing it (WHICH I AM, BTW...LOL), but geez was I glad that I did!! As we were stopped for a smoke break, it started to rain harder. The guys offered to tie our inner-tubes to their raft, so we could finish out the last hour with their help. Little did we know that we had some pretty major rapids coming up on us.

We got back on the water, the rain continued to come down. People were jealous of my umbrella...one guy even offered me twenty bucks for it. No way, dude. Get your own umbrella....lol.

A few minutes later, some rapids snuck up on us. We had been told in the beginning of the tour that the rapids were there, and to stay to the left, but we forgot and OF COURSE were to the right. We went over this crazy drop, with crazy rapids, and my leg hit a tree branch HARD. I was really surprised that it didn't get hurt worse than it did. It had a really deep bruise for about two months afterwards. Our rope snapped from the guys raft, so we were all scrambling to try and get back together because the storms were getting worse.

We all managed to get back to the side of the river, and re-attach our inner tubes to their raft. As we were doing this, a water moccassin swam by Danese. No lie. FREAKY!!!!!!!

At this point, Danese had about had it. She's more of a mall girl, and had kinda gone on this adventure for me, her BFF. I was feeling pretty bad that I'd gotten us in to this mess :(

The storm got harder and harder. Lightning was striking everywhere. The thunder was sooo loud, and very frightening. The river was rising pretty fast, and everyone was just trying to hold on for the ride. None of us had life jackets on, which was pretty scary!

After about ten more minutes, Danese was adamant that she wanted off of this river. She had had it! We all got to the side of the river, because we saw that the bank of it was climbable. In some parts of the river, it's just rocks and hills, and no way out. Here, we saw a grassy bank that lead up to something. We decided to get out and see where it went. It had to be better than being on that crazy river!!! We climbed up the embankment, and it was very slippery from rain waterfalls coming down it, and what did we find? Nothing. Fields that go nowhere. It was private property also, so we were concerned about that. Well, we could walk for who knows how long, to who knows where, in a flash flood w/ lightning, or we could get back on the river and go twenty minutes down river to the camp site.

Danese was NOT getting back on that river. She made it abundantly clear!!! But we had NO OTHER CHOICE! The guys offered to put her in the raft with them, and they would pull me along in the inner-tube. I agreed to that, because I knew we really had no other option. It was so TERRIFYING to get back on that river. It had risen at least two feet in the thirty minutes it had been raining already. You could see inner-tube floating around everywhere, with no tubers to be seen. I don't know where they all went, but from what I heard no one died. People were just trying so hard to get off of that river. The lightning was striking everywhere. It was freezing cold, and the rain was just pelting us. I was huddled underneath my umbrellas, so I did have that advantage. I felt kind of guilty, because no one else had that protection over their head and eyes, but I wasn't giving it up for anything!!

The final twenty minutes were the scariest of my life, and I'm sure Danese would agree. We were praying harder than we'd ever prayed in our lives!! I was huddled in a little ball on my inner tube, shaking like a leaf, and I believe possibly speaking in tongues. I was just chanting and moaning. I've never done it before, and haven't done it again, but I know the people on the boat could hear me. It was an excruciating twenty minutes. It really was.

FINALLY, sweet, sweet relief. We got to the camp site. It's a good thing we got off when we did, because the bridge crossings were completely covered with water, so we probably would've been slammed in to the bridges if we didn't get off when we did. The guys had a cabin with their family, and let us come in and get dry. It rained, no poured, for atleast two hours that day. Only over that spot though. We live twenty minutes from the river, and Chris said it was sunny and beautiful all day by our house. He had no idea that we were in so much danger.

The guys gave us a ride back to our car, and told us good bye. We thanked them about million and a half times. I don't know what we would have done without them. I truly in my heart believe that they were a God-sent. Thank you, Lord, for keeping us safe that day.

It was quite an experience. I'll be telling my grandkids that story one day. As crazy as it was, I'm glad I had that experience. I would've preferred to have had a lazy day on the river, but I'll never, ever forget that trip to the river. You can't make things like that up. It was an experience that I'll have forever, with my BFF, Danese :o)

We're crazy enough to go back for some more tomorrow!! I'm hoping for the lazy day on the river though. I don't need any more excitement in my life right now. A relaxing day on the river is just what the doctor ordered! We haven't gotten rain in about six months, so it's a safe bet that the storms will stay away tomorrow.

OK, "Little People" ended about ten minutes ago. I should probably go check to see if the house is still standing...lol!

Please say a little prayer for us tomorrow.

Thanks!! :o)

Here's the deal (written May 28th)...

2010-06-07T21:41:00.002-05:00

I know I haven't written in awhile. I haven't felt like I have much to say. Does that ever happen to any of you? Anyway, a lot is going on in our life right now and I'm about to write a long blog about it, but I thought I would post this Facebook note from about two weeks ago as a precursor to my newer blog.

Written May 28, 2010

I know many of my friends and family are wondering "what the heck" and how is it we came down here for vacation and ended up moving here instead!?! That's a good, valid question that I'll try to answer to the best of my ability.

As most of you know, we own a business in Seguin. It's been a lot of hard work for Chris the last few years and he's really tired from it all. He's been offered a job here in Houston three separate times since last December. It's a REALLY good job that I know he would be excellent and really grow within the company. I've told him "no, no, no", "I don't want to move", "I can't leave my house", "...but I love my friends and church so much!", "What about all of my homeschooling support group", "I just can't do it" every time he's brought it up to me. The mere thought of it would bring out the ugly cry in me.

I can't really explain what happened to me this time besides saying that God changed my heart. He gave me new eyes to see the area in Houston we would be living in a new way. He has given me a peace about moving here and has been opening some amazing doors in the short time we've been pursuing this move. I will still miss all of the things that have held me back for the last six months but I also want my husband to be happy and fulfilled in whatever God has in store for him.

My Grandma helped facilitate my "aha" moment. I don't talk to her often but the words she imparted to me in our five minute conversation on our anniversary really helped change and soften my heart towards moving here. I asked her to pray about this situation and ask God to guide Chris and I in these decisions. She told me pointedly that God put Chris in authority over our family, and when Grandpa would say they were going to move, they moved. Period. It was then that I realized that Chris has been wanting to move for six months and it's been ME standing in the way. I know that my husband loves me and wants me to be happy and I know that he has definitely taken my feelings in to consideration in this situation. I think I've finally been able to get over my "me, me, me" attitude and been able to see in to his heart in this situation. I believe that God put husbands in authority over wives and children on purpose and I'm not fulfilling my Biblical role as a wife (I realize that might be a controversial thing to say to some of my friends but it's truly the way I feel about marriage and I strive to have a Biblical viewpoint in all aspects of life, including my marriage).

So, long story short...God has been moving. I've stopped dragging my feet and started marching right along with Him. A mentor of mine told me a few months ago that if God is calling us to Houston then I need to have faith that He has far more in store for us then we might be able to see at the time. I believe those words to be true and look forward to seeing them come to fruition!!

If I could ask for prayer then please pray that God would help us tie up all of our loose ends in SA in the same speedy way that He has been opening up doors for us here. Please pray for peace in this next month because we have A LOT to accomplish in a short amount of time. Please pray for my kiddos as this will be a big change for them and they will be leaving some pretty special friends behind. Please pray that their hearts will be protected and comforted when they are sad. I would like the same prayer to be said for me too. Please pray for God's provision over the next few months. Please pray that we find an amazing church home like the one we will be leaving behind. Please pray that God would use us, however He sees fit, in our new home, church and life.

I'm so sorry to be leaving so many of you guys/girls. I hope we will stay in touch and that some of you would see fit to let the kids and I come visit from time to time. Please know that you will ALWAYS be welcome at our home, wherever that may be!!!

Swagger Wagon

2010-05-11T21:15:00.003-05:00

This is one of my favorite things of 2010 =D

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ql-N3F1FhW4

Trust Amid the Silence

2010-05-11T20:57:00.000-05:00

Trust Amid the Silence

"He answered her not a word" (Matt. 15:23).

"He will be silent in his love" (Zeph. 3:17).

It may be a child of God is reading these words who has had some great crushing sorrow, some bitter disappointment, some heart-breaking blow from a totally unexpected quarter. You are longing for your Master's voice bidding you "Be of good cheer," but only silence and a sense of mystery and misery meet you --"He answered her not a word."

God's tender heart must often ache listening to all the sad, complaining cries which arise from our weak, impatient hearts, because we do not see that for our own sakes He answers not at all or otherwise than seems best to our tear-blinded, short-sighted eyes.

The silences of Jesus are as eloquent as His speech and may be a sign, not of His disapproval, but of His approval and of a deep purpose of blessing for you.

"Why art thou cast down, O…soul?" Thou shalt yet praise Him, yes, even for His silence. Listen to an old and beautiful story of how one Christian dreamed that she saw three others at prayer. As they knelt the Master drew near to them.

As He approached the first of the three, He bent over her in tenderness and grace, with smiles full of radiant love and spoke to her in accents of purest, sweetest music.

Leaving her, He came to the next, but only placed His hand upon her bowed bead, and gave her one look of loving approval.

The third woman He passed almost abruptly without stopping for a word or glance. The woman in her dream said to herself, "How greatly He must love the first one, to the second He gave His approval, but none of the special demonstrations of love He gave the first; and the third must have grieved Him deeply, for He gave her no word at all and not even a passing look.

"I wonder what she has done, and why He made so much difference between them?" As she tried to account for the action of her Lord, He Himself stood by her and said: "O woman! how wrongly hast thou interpreted Me. The first kneeling woman needs all the weight of My tenderness and care to keep her feet in My narrow way. She needs My love, thought and help every moment of the day. Without it she would fail and fall.

"The second has stronger faith and deeper love, and I can trust her to trust Me however things may go and whatever people do.

"The third, whom I seemed not to notice, and even to neglect, has faith and love of the finest quality, and her I am training by quick and drastic processes for the highest and holiest service.

"She knows Me so intimately, and trusts Me so utterly, that she is independent of words or looks or any outward intimation of My approval. She is not dismayed nor discouraged by any circumstances through which I arrange that she shall pass; she trusts Me when sense and reason and every finer instinct of the natural heart would rebel;--because she knows that I am working in her for eternity, and that what I do, though she knows not the explanation now, she will understand hereafter.

"I am silent in My love because I love beyond the power of words to express, or of human hearts to understand, and also for your sakes that you may learn to love and trust Me in Spirit-taught, spontaneous response to My love, without the spur of anything outward to call it forth."

He "will do marvels" if you will learn the mystery of His silence, and praise Him, for every time He withdraws His gifts that you may better know and love the Giver. --Selected

Taken from "Streams in the Desert" Devotional

In honor of "Earth Day"...

2010-04-22T09:30:00.002-05:00

1THE EARTH is the Lord's, and the fullness of it, the world and they who dwell in it.

2For He has founded it upon the seas and established it upon the currents and the rivers.

3Who shall go up into the mountain of the Lord? Or who shall stand in His Holy Place?

4He who has clean hands and a pure heart, who has not lifted himself up to falsehood or to what is false, nor sworn deceitfully.

5He shall receive blessing from the Lord and righteousness from the God of his salvation.

6This is the generation [description] of those who seek Him [who inquire of and for Him and of necessity require Him], who seek Your face, [O God of] Jacob. Selah [pause, and think of that]!

7Lift up your heads, O you gates; and be lifted up, you age-abiding doors, that the King of glory may come in.

8Who is the King of glory? The Lord strong and mighty, the Lord mighty in battle.

9Lift up your heads, O you gates; yes, lift them up, you age-abiding doors, that the King of glory may come in.

10Who is [He then] this King of glory? The Lord of hosts, He is the King of glory. Selah [pause, and think of that]!

Psalm 24 (AMP)

Something beautiful...

2010-02-14T22:33:00.001-06:00

This is my favorite song on KLOVE right now. It makes me happy :)

Needtobreathe- "Something Beautiful"

In your ocean, I'm ankle deep
I feel the waves crashin' on my feet
It's like I know where I need to be
But I can't figure out, yeah I can't figure out
... See More
Just how much air I will need to breathe
When your tide rushes over me
There's only one way to figure out
Will ya let me drown, will ya let me drown

Hey now, this is my desire
Consume me like a fire, 'cause I just want something beautiful
To touch me, I know that I'm in reach
'Cause I am down on my knees, I'm waiting for something beautiful
Oh, something beautiful

And the water is risin' quick
And for years I was scared of it
We can't be sure when it will subside
So I won't leave your side, no I can't leave your side
Find More lyrics at www.sweetslyrics.com

Hey now, this is my desire
Consume me like a fire, 'cause I just want something beautiful
To touch me, I know that I'm in reach
'Cause I am down on my knees, I'm waiting for something beautiful
Oh, something beautiful

In a daydream, I couldn't live like this
I wouldn't stop until I found something beautiful
When I wake up, I know I will have
No, I still won't have what I need

Hey now, this is my desire
Consume me like a fire, 'cause I just want something beautiful
To touch me, I know that I'm in reach
'Cause I am down on my knees, I'm waiting for something beautiful
Oh, something beautiful (fade out)

A new day...

2010-02-14T16:19:00.002-06:00

Jesus, Lover of My Soul..

2010-02-13T15:50:00.001-06:00

Jesus lover of my soul
Jesus I will never let You go
You've taken me from the miry clay
You've set my feet upon the rock
And now I know
I love You
I need You
Though my world may fall
I'll never let You go
My Savior
my closest friend
I will worship You until the very end

The love of my life....

2010-02-12T23:54:00.004-06:00

I married my best friend nine years ago in May. He has filled my life with love and happiness, and has given me three precious, beautiful children. I love him with all of my heart. He is now, and always will be, my Valentine ♥ .

Love infinity...

2010-02-11T13:32:00.000-06:00

That is what God is...

Just stop and think...

2010-02-11T13:24:00.004-06:00

"Day in and day out, we find ourselves in the monotony of life; self help books, work, family, friends, cars, house, medications. Most of us are simply trying to life a "normal life." Have you ever found yourself wondering whether or not the goal of life should be normalcy?

Now is the time to Stop and Think."

http://juststopandthink.com/

The Awe Factor of God...

2010-02-11T00:12:00.002-06:00

"Men are never duly touched and impressed with a conviction of their insignificance, until they have contrasted themselves with the majesty of God" R. C. Sproul (excerpt taken from "Crazy Love: Overwhelmed by a Relentless God" by Francis Chan)

I have a confession to make...

2010-02-10T15:44:00.004-06:00

Hello. My name is Destiny, and I am a totally hopeless book nerd. I love reading. I love books. I love learning and knowledge. I especially love books that draw me closer to my loving, awesome God!

Today was a great day to me (as Arielle would say). I ordered some books from our public library a couple of months ago, and I got the email notification today that they were finally in!!!! I've wanted to read these books for at least four months, so I'm super excited to have the chance FINALLY!

Two of the books are by a wonderful preacher named Francis Chan. He has a really powerful sermon on youtube called "Lukewarm and Loving It" that I watched about a year ago and became a big fan of his. I've been wanting to read his books, but I have so many books that I want to read, and a pocketbook that can't keep up...lol.

The first book is called "Crazy Love: Overwhelmed by a Relentless God". Here is a partial blurb from the back of the book...

"Does something deep inside your heart long to break free from the status quo? Are you hungry for an authentic faith that addresses the problems of our world with tangible, even radical, solutions? God is calling you to a passionate love relationship with Himself. Because the answer to religious complacency isn't working harder at a list of dos and dont's — it's falling in love with God. And once you encounter His love, as Francis describes it, you will never be the same.

Because when you're wildly in love with someone, it changes everything."

The second book from Francis Chan is called, "Forgotten God: Reversing Our Tragic Neglect of the Holy Spirit". Here is a product description taken from Amazon.com of this book...

"A follow up to the profound message of "Crazy Love", Pastor Francis Chan offers a compelling invitation to understand, embrace, and follow the Holy Spirit's direction in our lives. In the name of the Father, the Son, and ... the Holy Spirit. We pray in the name of all three, but how often do we live with an awareness of only the first two? As Jesus ascended into heaven, He promised to send the Holy Spirit--the Helper--so that we could be true and living witnesses for Christ. Unfortunately, today's church has admired the gift but neglected to open it. Breakthrough author Francis Chan rips away paper and bows to get at the true source of the church's power--the Holy Spirit. Chan contends that we've ignored the Spirit for far too long, and we are reaping the disastrous results. Thorough scriptural support and compelling narrative form Chan's invitation to stop and remember the One we've forgotten, the Spirit of the living God. "

The third book I ordered is called "Jesus Culture: Living a Life that Transforms the World". I'm really excited about this book because Jesus Culture is my all time favorite group of musicians. Oh, how I would love to go to one of their weekend conferences, or go visit Bethel Church in California. They are so anointed in their gifts, and help bring me to a powerful place of worship of the Creator of the Universe!!! Here is a product description of this book, as given by Amazon.com...

"Stand Up and Stand Out! A new breed of revivalist is arising to answer the cry of God's heart. These blazing hearts are calling cities and nations back to the Lord, and challenging societies to be transformed by the power and love of God. These revivalists within the Jesus Culture are a significant force to be heeded. Do not expect them to fade into the background or disappear any time soon.They are only now arising. These revivalists are marked by four things: 1.They honor those who went before them. 2. A passionate love for Jesus responding to His great love for them and all humankind. 3. A life of prayer with confidence in God's goodness and desire to respond to prayer. 4. The supernatural power of God (healing, signs and wonders, prophesy, etc.). Learn more about the Jesus Culture from author Banning Liebscher who has worked in full-time youth and young adult ministry for more than a decade. Become more by joining the ranks of this new breed that is not afraid to stand up and stand out for God during this crucial time in history. "

I'm excited to read all three of these books, so it's safe to say that my nose will be planted in a book every spare minute I have for the next few weeks!! I might write a few more blogs about them as well. We'll see.

I mentioned this on Facebook, and thought I'd share here for any of my local friends. Our local library just built a new building, and they received a substantial grant to buy new books to help fill the empty bookshelves. They are really good about ordering any book that you suggest, so if you know of any powerful Christian books then you should put a book suggestion in. Chances are they will order it! It might take a few months, but what an investment it would be for future generations as well! I'd be thrilled to see a healthy, meaty Christian section at our local library!

Please join me in suggesting books for our library. If you aren't local and have any good suggestions for me to request then please let me know in comments. This includes children's books too. Thanks!!!!

Oh, how He LOVES US!!!

2010-02-09T11:53:00.005-06:00

My most favorite worship song EVER!!!

"How He Loves Us" Kim Walker

He is jealous for me
Love’s like a hurricane, I am a tree
Bending beneath the weight of His wind and mercy
When all of a sudden,
I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory
and I realize just how beautiful You are
and how great your affections are for me.

Oh, how He loves us so
Oh, how He loves us
How He loves us so.
Yeah, He loves us
Woah, how He loves us
Woah, how He loves us
Woah, how He loves.

So we are His portion
and He is our prize,
Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes
If grace is an ocean we’re all sinking
So heaven meets earth like a sloppy wet kiss
and my heart turns violently inside of my chest
I don’t have time to maintain these regrets
when I think about the way
That he loves us,

Woah, how He loves us
Woah, how He loves us
Woah, how He loves
He loves us,

Woah, how He loves us
Woah, how He loves us
Woah, how He loves

I wish I could embed this video on to the actual body of my blog, so if anyone knows how to do that then I'm all ears!! :)

Another fasting quote...

2010-02-09T11:21:00.002-06:00

Here are a few more fasting quotes that really spoke to me from the book by Jentezen Franklin.

"I want you to understand that you are not "twisting God's arm" when you go on a fast. You are not going to make God do anything He does not want to do. What you are actually doing is positioning yourself and preparing your heart for what is to come. If you are willing to seek Him, He will be willing to give."

...

"Any time you fast, it is a hunger strike against hell. Fasting is an extreme in-you-face statement to the devil--that same deceiver who used food to tempt Adam and Eve to sin."

...

"When we fast we are effectively going on a hunger strike against hell to say, "Loose those who are bound by deception, lies, alcohol, drugs, pornography, false religion, etc!!"

Pages 182-183

The book talks about how giving, praying and fasting are the three cords that should mark every believers life (Matthew 6). He says many Christians do a great job at the first two, but effectively ignore the last cord. Could this be because Satan realizes how powerful a weapon fasting can be in a believers life?

“ Is this not the fast that I have chosen:
To loose the bonds of wickedness,
To undo the heavy burdens,
To let the oppressed go free,
And that you break every yoke?
⁷ Is it not to share your bread with the hungry,
And that you bring to your house the poor who are cast out;
When you see the naked, that you cover him,
And not hide yourself from your own flesh?
⁸ Then your light shall break forth like the morning,
Your healing shall spring forth speedily,
And your righteousness shall go before you;
The glory of the LORD shall be your rear guard.
⁹ Then you shall call, and the LORD will answer;
You shall cry, and He will say, ‘Here I am.’

Isaiah 58:6-9

My. kids. are. so. stubborn.

2010-02-04T19:09:00.005-06:00

Oh. My. Goodness.

I'm at my wits end today!! I'm sure part of it has to do with not having seen ANY sunshine in at least a week now, and all of us are driving each other just a little bit crazy. I just can't believe they are so stubborn!!! I know they don't get it from me (heehee, you hush, Daddy :), so they MUST get it from Chris!

Here's the deal. I'm trying to change our diet, and make it better. I'm the first to admit that our diet is not the best. We don't drink enough water, we don't get enough vegetables, and we eat a lot of kid food (ie...UNHEALTHY!). I realize that this isn't good, and I'm trying to slowly make changes. It's kind of hard when your husband, the head of the household, has the pallet of a toddler.

How do I get my kids to eat a green bean or a pea if I can't get my husband to eat one? I gave up the food battle with Chris a long time ago. I realized that the only thing we fought over was food, and figured why fight about it? He IS a grown man, and if that's the only thing we fight about then I'm in pretty good shape, right? (Let me sidebar that with the fact that I used to be in MUCH better shape before I started adopting the eating habits of my picky eater husband...lol).

So I gave up on it. I go with the flow, and I have deprived myself of many, many wonderful foods that I LOVE because no one else in my house will eat them (meatloaf, chicken pot pie, any vegetables, mushrooms, onions, any and ALL casseroles, etc...).

I've let it go for so long, but now I'm feeling conviction to get all of us eating healthier. We need to try to cut out some of the processed junk, eat whole wheat bread instead of white bread, eat more veggies, drink more water, the whole kit-n-caboodle.

I think I'm making progress on the bread issue. The kids and I have been eating whole wheat, and the complaining has died down a bit. They each have a vegetable that I can get them to eat (Noah-carrots, Arielle-salad, Shepard-broccoli). They all eat a lot of fruit, so that's never been a problem. Still no green beans or peas. I would try to force them to eat them, but my youngest has the most sensitive gag reflex when I try to force him to eat something, and I'd rather not clean up vomit. It's hard to force the other two to eat something when the youngest and Daddy don't have to eat it. See my dilemma?

I've been trying to get them to drink at least a glass of water a day. You gotta start somewhere, right? We always have juice, milk, lemonade or capri suns (one a day) in the fridge, so they don't usually have to drink water during the day.

Today I gave them about six ounces of water in the morning and told them when they were done drinking that then they could have whatever they chose to drink. Here it is, 7:30 pm, and they each still have about two ounces left to drink.

They are REFUSING to drink it! I've even freshened it up with new water and new ice. They are SO SO SO SO SO SO stubborn, oh my gosh. I'm not going to back down. They can go to bed thirsty. And in the morning there will be six ounces of fresh water waiting for them again. I'm going to break them, one way or another.

Blog surfing...

2010-02-03T23:10:00.003-06:00

I've spent the last hour or so surfing through the various, random blogs on this website. I've never done it before, so I just kept clicking "next blog", "next blog", "next blog". It's kept me occupied while my husband was watching his Spurs game (and as he is laying here next to me snoring REALLY LOUDLY right now...lol).

I've come to the conclusion that this is a very neat website, and unlike any of the other social networking sites I've been a part of over the years. For the most part, every blog I have come across was clean and literate (unlike myspace). I saw very little drama or judgement (unlike Cafemom). And I was able to take a peak in to many, many peoples private lives, almost like a window in to their soul (unlike Facebook, the land of private profiles...including mine!!)

Here are a few things I noticed while surfing through blogger...

1) People are so diverse, unique and different. God made each of us as an individual and we should embrace it!

2) There are a lot of artistic people on blogger. I saw so many beautiful photographs, and homemade gifts, and artwork, and beautiful blogs while randomly going from blog to blog.

3) There are a lot of Christians on blogger. I have an eye for noticing Bible verses and any mention of God. There are also a lot of LDS on blogger, and I can tell they are Mormon just by looking at their picture before I see it in their descriptions. They have the cutest families.

4) There are a lot of single girl blogs. And wedding blogs. And new baby blogs. Seasons change, and people write about each of 'em!

5) People LOVE their kids and pets!!

Anyway, I should probably get off of here before my eyeballs fall out from staring at this bright screen for so long. I think I'll do something novel and actually read a...gasp...book!! Maybe another night I'll blog surf some more. I'm sure I have just scratched the surface this evening. I'm thinking their must be at least a million bloggers out there!!

Good night, friends.

Until next time...

=)

My kids doing the Bigsby Bible book song...

2010-02-03T18:17:00.002-06:00

This makes me smile from beginning to end :)

Fasting quote...

2010-02-02T22:03:00.002-06:00

Taken from the book, "Fasting: Opening the Door to a Deeper, More Intimate, More Powerful Relationship With God" by Jentezen Franklin.

"Whatever you may be facing or going through right now, I want you to heed David's call to magnify the Lord. If you are in a rut or a routine where your worship just isn't cutting it, if you have not heard God speak to you in a long time, if your circumstances seem to be the biggest obstacle in your life, stop everything and begin a fast. One day, several days, some food, all food--the details are not as important as your heart's desire to satisy God with your worship and sacrifice."

(page 76)

My doppelganger...

2010-02-01T17:29:00.006-06:00

Sam Sparks ROCKS!

I've dubbed her my animated doppelganger (thanks to Facebook :)

Thought I'd share! Short, but sweet, this time :)

Today's forecast...

2010-02-01T00:10:00.001-06:00

...is "Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs"!! I tell you what, I can't get enough of that movie :)

Today was such a nice day with my family.

Church was wonderful. Sunday school was so informative!! We are studying about the book of Revelations and the teacher has been going through the churches in chapters two and three. I missed the first two weeks of SS, so I missed the first three churches (and I'm totally bummed about it), but I've learned a lot about the last four churches. I love learning more about God's Word! It really is becoming like bread for me, although the more I taste, the more I want. I learned an interesting interpretation of the verses about the church of Laodicia. You know the ones that were neither too hot or too cold, and who represent a current group of people living today. If anyone wants to hear it then let me know, otherwise I'll keep it to myself and do some more research on my own. I'm thinking about doing my own little Bible Study to make up for the two weeks I missed because I really want to know more about each of the churches in the beginning of Revelations. Interesting, meaty stuff in there!! The worship was so anointed and wonderful. The message was really great!! He talked about how JOY is a gift that God gave us Christians, so we should live that out every day :)

We hung out at the house for the rest of the day. I got some good reading in, while the kids did their various things and Daddy took a loooong nap. Then we lit a fire in the fireplace, roasted a few hot dogs, popped some popcorn and put in my favorite movie, "Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs". I don't know why I love that movie so much, but I seriously love it. I smile the entire time I watch it. I guess part of it has to do with the fact I can watch it with my kids and laugh, while they laugh, and not cringe at any bad words or adult themes. The worst things in the movie is one "holy crap balls", one "hell hole" and a shot of an animated booty clenching in his tight athletic shorts. I can deal with those three things so much better than I can deal with the sexual themes, violence and bad language in so many other movies, including "kid movies". The humor in "CWACOM" cracks me up, from beginning to end. I just think it is so clever and hilarious!! Sam Sparks is SO me :) She loves weather...I love weather. She's a nerd...I'm a nerd. She loves her scrunchies....I love my scrunchies. She pulls off full hips...ummm, HELLO! She's a smart chick...and I like to think I'm no dummy :) I think she is one of my favorite characters from a movie in a long time. I think the love story is really cute and age appropriate for kids. I LOVE the animation. I love the theme, and I love the morals in the movie (You are an original, be who God (even though He isn't mentioned by name) created you to be, don't be over-indulgent because nothing good comes from it, be self-less). All around, it's one of my all-time favorite movie, right up there with "Elf" and "Up". All three of them I could watch over and over with my little ones and hubby :)

We put the kids to bed and then my hubby and I had a date. We started a new marriage study at church last week. You each do your homework for the week, and then spend thirty minutes having a "staff meeting" discussing only your homework. No kids, finances, or anything else. Just you and your spouse. I think it's funny that they put such an impersonal name on such a personal time. Either way, we had our first staff meeting tonight. It went well. We both agreed that we already have a pretty wonderful marriage. It will be exciting to see how God can make it even better and tweak the few things that we would both like to see grown in our marriage. We then gave each other massages while listening to Christian music on youtube, and well, the rest is nunya...lol.

Seriously, what an awesome day was today? If only every day could be so wonderful. That wouldn't be reality though, so I will cherish today and look forward to next Sunday when we can spend the day as a family again. Hopefully, today will set the tone for the rest of our week.

God is good, all the time!!! On the great days, and on the not so great days.

I'm thanking Him for this day and asking that He will be with my loved ones, friends and family this week. I pray blessings over each of them, and ask that He will meet each of their needs. How very thankful I am for all of the wonderful people He has placed in my life :)

I will end this with two quotes from church this morning that I thought were pretty great...

"Dwelling on our problems does not fix them; it just makes us experts on them ".

"Joy is an outward sign of inward faith in God ".

Fasting

2010-01-31T16:52:00.000-06:00

I'm currently reading about five different books. I'm not sure why I do that but it's a pattern in my life. One of the books I'm reading is called "Fasting: Opening the Door to a Deeper, More Intimate, More Powerful Relationship with God" by Jentezen Franklin.

The book is really challenging me, and doing it by backing what the author says with solid Biblical principles and scriptures. It's causing me to want, to desire, to yearn, to sacrifice for a closer relationship with Him, at the same time as making me uncomfortable with my love of comfort. Uncomfortable to break free of the things I grew up believing (or not believing). It's stretching me, and hopefully doing a new work in me.

I want to give God all of me. Even the parts that I feel like I can't give up for so many reasons (my flesh, my comfort, my lack of self-control, my lack of discipline ("how can I make my kids and husband food without partaking in it myself?").

I'm not saying I have fasted yet, except for a few one meal fasts, and I'm not saying that I'm going to fast tomorrow. But I am saying that God is using this book to stir up some serious thoughts and contemplations in me that I want to explore and let Him use to work a new work in me.

An excerpt from the book...

http://www.amazon.com/Fasting-Jentezen-Franklin/dp/1599793318#reader_1599793318

The authors website...

http://www.jentezenfranklin.org/fasting/

Awesome prayer...

2010-01-31T15:24:00.000-06:00

"For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom his whole family in heaven and on earth derives its name. I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us,to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen."

Ephesians 3: 14-21

Parental controls...

2010-01-30T22:50:00.000-06:00

So, my kids saw their first porn yesterday. Yup, you read that right. I was SOOOO upset, but there wasn't much I could do after the fact. As upset as I was though, it gave me the initiative to get our desktop computer safe for my children. We had our filters on, but nothing too solid to keep them away from the bad stuff lurking out there online.

It all started when Chris showed us how to use the "google voice search" app on his phone. I knew that I had the same app on mine so the kids and I started playing with it. We looked up Star Wars, Curious George, Barbie, etc. Then they started getting silly, as they are known to do, and started looking up stupid things like diarrhea, underwear, poop. Yes, it's gross, but my kids think potty words are HILARIOUS! I was paying attention to something else and heard Sissy say the word "butt" to the google voice.

Then they hand me the phone and say, "What's this, Mommy?" They had accidentally clicked the first link that came up for "butt" and it was a porn site. My babies saw a picture of two women lying in the same bed together, luckily all you could see was their faces so hopefully they have no idea what that was all about.

Then next to that little picture was an up close and personal picture of a vagina. Yup. It makes me sick to my stomach to even type it. I seriously don't think they know what they had seen because they didn't act like they had seen something wrong.

I was visibly upset, but tried not to make a big deal about it. I told them that we aren't allowed to play with the google search anymore, unless I can figure out how to put some safety settings on my phone. I had NO IDEA that my phone could even get porn. Yuck.

So today I went and started investigating the desktop that the kids use in the family room. It has the "safety settings" on, but even that lets some stuff through the filter. Once I looked up images of Charlie Brown on yahoo images and got porn pictures, even with the safety settings on. For some reason I thought we would need to buy some fancy, expensive system to guard my kids against the bad stuff on the computer. Turns out I have some heavy duty parental controls available on my desktop.

I spent about three hours today working on getting their computer locked up tighter than Fort Knox. They have their own user name at the set up page, and they only have access to about twenty websites through their account. If they accidentally click on something or search for something then it will come up a blank page that asks for a password for access to it. Actually, any website that isn't on their "allowed list" will ask for parental access.

I feel SO MUCH BETTER knowing that they will be safe online now! I wish I would have done it sooner. It's my heart that their little eyes and minds won't be defiled by the nasty stuff that they unfortunately saw last night. I'm praying that God will protect and guard their hearts and minds in Christ (Proverbs 4:23).

Here is a list of the websites that I'm allowing them to have access to online. If you know of any good educational websites that I could add then I'd love to hear them!!

ageofempires3.com
akidsheart.com/bible/bible.htm
answersingenesis.org
barbie.com/activities/fashion
biblestories4kids.com
bionicle.lego.com/en-US/default.aspx
bionicles.com
cabazondinosaurs.com/Games.html
christiananswers.net/dinosaurs/home.html
christiananswers.net/kids/menu-act.html
creationtips.com/creationtips.html
curiousgeorge.com/
dinosaurgeorge.com/
disney.go.com/princess/
funschool.kaboose.com
games.yahoo.com
hasbro.com
icr.org
kidsdinos.com
lego.com
marvelkids.marvel.com/games
nickjr.com
oyunlar1.com/mariogames.asp
pbskids.com
starfall.com
starwars.com
starwars.com/games
supermariobrothers.org
teachgodskids.com/games.html

Mountain cedar...

2010-01-29T22:20:00.000-06:00

Those two words are dirty, filthy words to so many people who live in the Texas Hill Country at this time of year. Too many people are suffering from that pesky pollen floating around in our air. The itchy eyes, the runny nose, the run down feeling, the itchy throat, the sinus headaches...UGH!! Make them stop! It's like Murphy is sitting wherever he is, laughing at all of us fools that live in the Texas Hill Country, and have to deal with his "law" of perfect weather=crazy allergies. I don't even want to go outside most days, even on the most beautiful of days because I know I'll be sneezing like crazy. I've used five boxes of tissue in the last month alone!! I bet Kleenex LOVES Cedar Fever time in the Hill Country (ka-ching!). Not to mention Claritin, Zyrtec, Benadryl and the other allergy companies (ka-ching, ka-ching!). I say we should cut down ALL of the Ash Juniper trees and make them paper. Who needs 'em, right? I'm counting down the days until the middle of February when the pollinating season should FINALLY be over. I can almost taste the sweet relief that is awaiting me (and many, many others) :)

http://www.peopleagainstcedars.com/html/cedar__the_plague_of_trees.html

We tried...

2010-01-29T22:10:00.000-06:00

1 Timothy 5: 4-8

4But if a widow has children or grandchildren, these should learn first of all to put their religion into practice by caring for their own family and so repaying their parents and grandparents, for this is pleasing to God. 5The widow who is really in need and left all alone puts her hope in God and continues night and day to pray and to ask God for help. 6But the widow who lives for pleasure is dead even while she lives. 7Give the people these instructions, too, so that no one may be open to blame. 8If anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for his immediate family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.

I know that we did everything we could, short of begging and pleading, to be able to help her. I know his sister did everything she could as well. We can face our Maker knowing that we tried, and that we were all but spat on and lied about in the process.

Father God, please help us to heal from the hurt that we feel in our hearts. Help us to know beyond a shadow of a doubt that your grace is sufficient for us, and that this will all work out for us because we love you so very much. Help be our defender against the lies that have been spread about us, and convict and soften the hearts of those who are spreading them. Help us to forgive them, Lord, and help remove the bitterness and hurt, and help it to not take root in our life. In Jesus' Name....Amen.

Unhappy thoughts...

2010-01-27T02:34:00.001-06:00

Sleep eludes me tonight.

I tried.

I tried for an hour and all I could do was think.

I couldn't turn off my mind.

I couldn't forget the hurt.

If it hurts me this much then how much more must it hurt him?

Rejection.

Abandonment.

Being told we were scavengers when we asked for nothing but love and time.

All we wanted was for her to be a part of our life.

If it hurts this much as a thirty two year old woman and a forty year old man, then how much more must it have hurt him as a very young boy?

Or again as a teenager?

Always being the last thing on her mind.

Everyone else came before them.

She loved people that weren't even her flesh and blood, or even kind to her the majority of their time together, yet she chose them.

Time and time again.

I'm angry.

I'm sad.

I'm hurt.

How much more must he feel...or her, the other forgotten one?

I know how hurt he is because I saw it in his eyes.

I saw it in his hot tears.

I saw it in his trembling.

I saw all of the pain come to the surface.

Did she care?

No.

I will love him for the both of us.

She is no longer allowed to hurt him anymore.

I forbid it.

I will not let my children be hurt by her.

They deserve more than a birthday and Christmas card each year.

She won't even call them!!

They ask all of the time when will they see her again.

What am I supposed to say?!?!

I'm not going to lie to them. I've avoided the question and given vague answers but I think next time they ask I will tell them probably not ever. It's better for them to get used to that now at a young age then have to grow up wondering if she will ever come back.

I will not let three more beautiful souls be damaged in her wake.

I don't think we ever knew who she really was...

I think she put on a mask when she was here, and put on another mask in front of the other people.

I believe we have a clear picture of the real person, who she is at the core of her being, now.

Will the real _____ ______ please stand up?

"The Revolutionary Holocaust: Live Free...or Die"

2010-01-23T15:08:00.000-06:00

I'm now watching "The Revolutionary Holocaust: Live Free of Die". It's amazing the way our society has white-washed how dangerous communism really is, and how treacherous and murderous these dictators really were. Anyone who admires Moa, Stalin and Che Guerra should really seek help, or re-evaluate what exactly it is you admire...murder, racism, mass extermination of innocent people?

I'll be posting the links to this documentary on my page. I hope many people will watch it and get a view of the real side of communism. It's not some romantic, fanciful ideology that Hollywood seems to love.

Please watch it with eyes and hearts wide open...

"The Revolutionary Holocaust: Live Free or Die"

Part one...

http://www.youtube.com/user/TheDailyBeck#p/u/4/cNrfY4U9WYM

Part two...

http://www.youtube.com/user/TheDailyBeck#p/u/3/rw7DtjO4V6c

Part three...

http://www.youtube.com/user/TheDailyBeck#p/u/2/H8XLKNUJzMQ

Part four...

http://www.youtube.com/user/TheDailyBeck#p/u/1/sMPWIqHli00

Part five...

http://www.youtube.com/user/TheDailyBeck#p/u/0/HzWLkzcnwp4

A loss of a friendship...

2010-01-23T11:57:00.001-06:00

I've wanted to write this journal for some time now, but I wanted to give myself some time to digest and ponder the things I am about to write so as to not come across as bitter or angry. I'm neither of those things. Hurt...yes. Surprised...yes. Astounded at the obviously glaring double standard...YES.

I posted (on another social networking site) a few months ago that a long standing friendship was over. It was a friendship that was vulnerable, and quite frankly, toxic over the last twenty years, but through that friendship blossomed some of the most amazing blessings in my life. I think it's proof that God can take the most negative parts of your life and birth something beautiful out of them, if you are willing to ask for forgiveness and repent for your sins.

My friend and I became friends when we were twelve. We were angsty and hormonal, and thought it was us against the world. We thought we knew more than our parents and didn't need to follow their silly rules. We didn't care much for the Bible and we felt it was constantly forced down our throats for as long as we could remember. We both fed each others negativity and we both found ourselves in some pretty dark places because of it.

As time went by we would be friends on and off. It was a constant cycle...fight, make up, fight, make up, fight, make up. I'm sure this was normal behaviour for many teenagers, but it went on in to adulthood for us.

We had not spoken in several years when out of the blue she calls me. She had been living in Louisiana and I lived in Texas. She called because she was in Houston and wanted to introduce me to a guy that was "perfect for me".

Strange. I hadn't talked to her in forever, probably five years, and here she was, twelve years after we met, calling to set me up with a man. I was 24, and sick of the single life. I was tired of looking for "Mr. Right", when it seemed like the world was full of a sea of "Mr. Wrongs". She told me a little bit about him and I was intrigued.

It took a couple of months for him and I to finally meet up. In that time, she and I had restored some of our ever-fragile friendship. The man she was setting me up with was none other than my wonderful husband today. The beginnings of our relationship are for another blog, another time. I'm forever grateful to this friend for letting God use her (even if she won't admit it) to introduce me to the man God created for me.

I introduced her to another toxic friend of mine, and they embarked on what would end up a very unhappy, volatile relationship. I've always felt bad that she introduced me to "Mr. Wonderful" and I introduced her to "Mr. Not-So-Nice". "Mr. Not-So-Nice" ended up having a problem with me as I started to embark on my new spiritual journey, and ended our friendship yet again.

We didn't speak for another five years. I had three kids and moved to a new city in this time period. I got really serious about my faith, and started seeking God with a new zeal, and quite frankly, was a new creation. I'm sure the people who knew me "back then" are wondering who this new Destiny is, and what happened to the old, crazy Destiny?

All of a sudden, out of the blue yet again, I get a call from my long-lost friend. I knew it was coming. It's part of the cycle. It wouldn't surprise me if the cycle continued until we are both in our graves. She had gotten rid of "Mr. Not-So-Nice" and wanted her friend back. She promised me that the cycle was over, and there was no reason for our friendship to ever take another hit. We were both adults now and could act like adults.

Okay, great.

I was me. I am not one to be fake. I was open with her about my feelings on life, and love, and everything else that was on my heart. I let her be open with me about the things on her heart, and never once condemned her or judged her, even though our lives had obviously taken separate paths.

Apparently, during a time when my husband and I were really struggling financially, and I had three very young children (ages four and under) and my faith was obviously weak, I confided in her that I wouldn't know what to do if anything ever happened to Chris. The kids and I would have been homeless, and I would have three very young children dependent totally on me. This is not something I worry about anymore, and I haven't thought about such things in years. I, honestly, don't even remember this conversation with her. I am telling you this because it comes up again in the future. I guess as my faith has grown, so has my faith that God will supply all of my needs, no matter what the circumstances are in my life.

Flash forward about three years. We hadn't seen each other in a very long time but remained friends through phone calls and online, so we started planning a trip for her and her kids to come see me and my kids. She was in a long-term relationship with a man, and seemed to be very happy with him. She said she finally found someone who made her peaceful and happy. Great. I was happy for her.

We planned her trip to come see me about six months in advanced. She is very, very different from me, and her family does things very differently than my family. I was happy to have her come stay with me for a week, and vacation in my hometown, but I was also open with her that things might be different for her and her kids at my home. No cussing. No shows that would be inappropriate for my young children, or me for that matter. I let her know that God is a very active part of our household, and I couldn't promise that my kids or I wouldn't say something to her or her kids about God (she is at best an agnostic). I just wanted her to be aware of how we are, and make sure she could handle staying in our home and feel comfortable with the way we live. Like I said before, I'm a very real person. I don't pretend for anyone. This is me...like it or not. She seemed to respect that, and said that she and her teenage kids would be able to stay within the boundaries in our home. Wonderful.

Flash forward another couple of months. The guy she was dating broke her heart. She has a pattern of men breaking her heart, and this was the last straw. She also has a pattern of being confused in her sexuality, but this last heart break was it. She now decided that she was a lesbian. She felt uncomfortable in telling me this, because of my faith. I never once talked down to her. I never once was condemning of her, or judgemental. I questioned her a bit, and asked her if she was sure this wasn't just a backlash from the way men have treated her all of her life, even starting in early childhood. I made sure she knew that I loved her regardless.

Now this created another thing that I would not want discussed in front of my children when they came to visit. I talked to her about how my children are very young (7, 4, 3 at the time) and I did not want to have to explain homosexuality to them at such a young, impressionable age. At first she seemed okay with that, and understood where I was coming from, but thinking back it must have really bothered her and she let it seethe under the surface.

I got a call one night, about a month later, and she asked me what I really thought of her being gay. I told her that I think it's Biblically wrong, but she isn't a Christian so I doubt that she really cares what the Bible says. I told her that I love her no matter what, even if I don't agree with some of her decisions. I told her that she is still my friend, and that I'm thankful for the things she has brought in to my life. She then told me that she was really offended that I thought she would come "spread her gayness all over my house" and come in to my house and "preach gay to my kids".

Okay, now I got a little bit defensive. Why was it okay, before she decided that she was gay, that she would have to act a certain way around my kids? Why the defensiveness about not talking to my kids about her girlfriends, but not the same defensiveness about, say, cussing?

She said that she thought it would be better if she and the kids stayed in a hotel room, so they could be themselves and not risk "infecting my kids with her gayness". I tried to be calm and told her that might be best for all of us. They would probably be more comfortable in a hotel room anyway. We talked for a little bit longer, and the awkwardness kind of died down a bit.

Then she told me she had to tell me something.

I remember exactly where I was and what I was doing when this happened, that's how much it affected me. I couldn't believe the words coming out of her mouth.

She said, "You remember a few years ago when you said you wouldn't know what to do if anything happened to Chris?"

I didn't quite remember that conversation, but I asked her where she was going with it.

She said, "You said that maybe you and the kids could come stay with me".

Okay, still don't remember this conversation because I'd probably go stay with my parents, but listened to see what she had to say.

Here is what she told me, "Destiny, I'm sorry, but if something happened to Chris I would only be able to support you from a distance. The way you have decided to live your life is great for you, but I couldn't have you come stay with me. I'm sorry, but I couldn't help you".

Ummmm...how random and weird of a thing is THAT to say?!?!

So, you're saying because I am a souled out believer in Christ that you would be unwilling to help me if my husband DIED? Wow. That is really low.

Can you imagine if I had said the same thing to her because she had decided to be gay?

I would NEVER say that to someone.

As a matter of fact, my entire family has bent over backwards to help this friend numerous times on the long, hard road that has been her life. We have never said no to helping her when she was a single mom, or in an unhealthy marriage. I could name so many times that my husband, my parents, even my church have helped her, yet here she is saying that if my husband died she would have no sympathy for me because I'm a Christian. Wow.

It really gave me a glaring look at the hypocrisy that the world throws at you. I always here about how Christians are hypocrites, but really the world needs to look in the mirror. Double standards ABOUND if you have the eyes to see them.

I got off of the phone with my friend because I was just so upset that she had just said these words to me. After that I got text after text of venomous, curse-laden garbage, completely talking down to me and my faith.

I had done nothing wrong!!

I guess it had just been seething in her for so long, this disdain for my faith, that it all came bubbling over that night.

I realized then and there that the friendship was probably not salvageable. If I had said the same thing to her then she probably wouldn't forgive me. I don't need toxic people in my life, and especially not people who have such an obvious hatred for people of faith. I tried to be loving, and kind, and understanding, but it didn't get me that far with her. I can only be me, and I will not pretend to be anyone else just to make people feel more comfortable about themselves.

I haven't spoken to her since that night. I'm not sure that we will ever speak again. I hope she finds the peace that she has been longing for since we were both very young girls. I hope she knows that I really did love her, despite our differences, and I hope that she will come to terms with her deep-seeded hatred of God Almighty and His followers. People of faith are called to help the widows and orphans.

I do forgive her, and I'm not bitter. I pray for her every time God places her on my heart. I know that it's not me that offends her so much. It is He who lives inside of me that she is rejecting. If she ever came to me, and was truly sorry for the awful things she said to me that night then I would try to repair our friendship once again.

Like the Bible says, we are to forgive seventy-times-seven times.

Who are my CP's???

2010-01-20T12:12:00.000-06:00

Taken from my girlie-friend's blog....

http://meetmeattheoutlet.blogspot.com/2010/01/who-are-these-cps-i-so-often-talk-about.html?showComment=1264011117130_AIe9_BH5g1LkSVFLTFMldQZ9Df4MD5yugGvwVVvuXfxAD2vqHSOzT3Dh-c2TvUT-GHRdVYEgZ7bAOnP10IexXIs88HeSu61-sOUApZB1HOeAW_eC54OPaUQzJeXYLQPJC4rng8N_TmHXRztZrLB3s2UzOIRndrIE5zUzH6T26-2P6w-j8AO5Ir9xqcm_VPgthC9C2JZQKGdwg-zMvKTpIlxETOsWvPQWboikEBVhisJA67DWRvF31EtV8lq3dhv0iVSnPtFhJqPo#c1943255372263741754

WHOO-HOO!!

2010-01-19T23:08:00.000-06:00

I know I haven't had much to say lately, but I DO TODAY!!! Scott Brown just won the Senate seat in Massachusetts!! I'm sure Ted Kennedy is rolling over in his grave tonight. I'm jumping up and down FOR JOY!!! I hope this puts the squash on stupid Obama-care :)

Twenty-ten...

2010-01-03T22:46:00.000-06:00

I suppose I should do a blog in 2010. I can't believe a decade has gone by in a blink of an eye. How did that happen?!? I'm stealing this from my Facebook, but here is a little recap of my last decade.

In the LAST decade I...

Went to school. Left the US for the first time when I went to Cancun with a friend. Swam with dolphins (a dream come true). Met a wonderful man (FINALLY!). Married that wonderful man(a dream come true). Endured national tragedy. Gave my life over to God. Got pregnant for the first time. Had the cutest little baby in the world (a dream come true). Learned to be a Mommy. Moved to San Antonio (a dream come true). Moved to Canyon Lake (a dream come true). Had another baby (a beautiful daughter and a dream come true). Learned to be a Mommy of two. Very quickly learned how to be a Mommy of three when I had my precious baby boy (of course, a dream come true). Bought a house (a dream come true). Started a business (my husbands dream come true, but sometimes our own personal nightmare). Started homeschooling. Found a wonderful church. Obama (ahem, nightmare!). I've made great new friends, and grew in my relationships with many of my old ones. I've learned. I've laughed. I've loved. I can't wait to see what the next decade holds in store for me and my family!

In the NEXT decade I...

want to draw closer to God. Learn more about His Word, covenants and promises. Be open to whatever He has in store for our lives. I know I didn't put it above, but giving my life over to God is the best thing that has ever happened to me. All of those other blessings came as a direct result of His love for me. I want to spend the next ten years learning to be more like Jesus. I want to allow Him to use me in any way that He sees fit. I want to help grow His Kingdom. I want to speak without fear or shame about the gospel that changed me! I want to teach and love my kids. I want to love my husband. I want to learn, live, love and laugh with everything I've got in me!! I want to be a better mother, wife, friend and daughter.

Medicare, Obamacare and Why We Should Care...

2009-12-06T23:56:00.001-06:00

I don't normally ask people to pass things on, but this is important. If you agree, please pass it on!!!

http://www2.focusonthefamily.com/docstudy/newsletters/A000001428.cfm

A child's heart...

2009-12-05T19:58:00.000-06:00

I have to journal this so I'll never forget how tender my children's hearts are toward the poor and needy. Our church is going on a mission trip at the end of this month to Mexico, to help build a house for an elderly couple. Jose, the husband, is an amputee and in poor health. It will cost $3,000 to build and furnish a house for this couple.

I told my kids that our church was taking up a love offering to help cover the costs to build this house, and that I would really appreciate it if they would use a dollar of their allowance (they get one dollar a week) to give to this family.

I watched them as they sat and listened intently to every word I was saying, and saw their eyes as they saw a picture of the family that we would be helping. Without hesitation, Noah said he wanted to give more money. It started out with two dollars, but ended up being four dollars.

Arielle, not wanting to be outdone by her brother, decided she wanted to give all of her allowance. She had pure motives, but I'm sure the fact that Noah gave more helped her decide to give more as well. One of her favorite Bible Stories is the woman who gave her two pennies to Jesus, and I reminded her that she just did what that woman did in the story, and that I know she made Jesus very happy.

Sheppy decided he only wanted to give two dollars, but I'm equally as proud of him as I am of the other two. They are precious children, and I pray that they will be blessed by the pictures of the new house in Mexico as we get them, and that they will continue to have a heart towards missions and helping those in need.

I'm crying as I write this because I just love them so much :)

Be thankful for people...

2009-11-25T09:44:00.000-06:00

Here is my list...

I'm thankful for my Mom and Dad who put up with my shenanigans while growing up and still loved me regardless. Thank you for never giving up on me!

I'm thankful for my extended family members, and brother and sister. I know we aren't very close since we didn't grow up around one another, and don't live near each other now, but I love you guys.

I'm thankful for my friends, new and old. God has placed so many caring and wonderful people in to my life, and for that I am thankful. I'm thankful for the spiritual mentors that have been placed in to my life to help me on my faith walk.

I saved the best for last...

I'm thankful for my precious family. I have the VERY BEST HUSBAND EVER, and the CUTEST, SWEETEST CHILDREN IN THE WORLD!! I thank God every day for trusting me with such an awesome gift!!

I'm thankful for a God that loves so extravagantly that He would send His Son, God in flesh, to die on the cross for my sins. I'm thankful that He has placed His Holy Spirit inside of me to help guide me through this life, and I'm thankful for eyes to see and ears to hear all that He is telling me.

Be Thankful for People

By Robin Dugall (homeword.com)

I thank my God every time I remember you. Philippians 1:3

Thanksgiving Day is almost here again and I'm sure that across our country, pastors are preaching sermons pointing out the need for Christ-followers to be thankful people. As a pastor, I've made impassioned pleas for Christ-followers to rise above our culture...to resist the temptation for the holidays to be simply another opportunity for us to be self-focused and self-indulgent. Thanksgiving isn't just about eating to the brink of explosion; shopping to the brink of bankruptcy; watching television to the brink of insanity. I've tried to make the point that Thanksgiving for a person who loves God can be so much more.

Even so, I discovered in my own life that despite what I've preached, I have missed a crucial element in the process of being a thankful follower of Jesus in my own life. I found that over the years I have been mostly thankful for the THINGS in my life; for food, finances, the house I have lived in, the clothes I have worn, and so on. While there's nothing wrong with being thankful for these things, I have missed the boat on giving thanks for the biggest blessings of God in my life...PEOPLE.

Consider how empty, purposeless, and meaningless, our lives would be without relationships. Relationships have shaped who we are and who we are becoming. Without exception, everyone I know has been positively influenced by another person. While it is easy to thank God for the THINGS in our lives, we should remember to be equally thankful for the PEOPLE God has placed in our lives as well!

Let me give you just one example. I am thankful for my Aunt Patty. She had suffered a brain injury when she was a small child severe enough that by the time I was born, she had become mentally disabled. But, when I was a child, she would play games and entertain me for hours. She loved me unconditionally. We would play The Beatles records, and pretend to be Paul McCartney and John Lennon. It was her love for music that infected my soul for the rest of my life. I thank God for her!

How about you? Who do you thank God for? This Thanksgiving, take a few moments and thank God for the relationships in your life. Truthfully, it can revolutionize your life.

GOING DEEPER: 1. Make a list of the people who have shaped your life. Share the list with your friends and family. 2. How easy is it to just thank God for things in your life? How can you live a lifestyle of thankfulness more consistently?

FURTHER READING: Psalm 150; Philemon

Kid funnies and an 'a-ha' moment....

2009-11-21T00:03:00.001-06:00

We went to a dinner party this evening with some of the people from our church. There were probably fifty people jammed in to this house, but surprisingly we all fit! The kids and I got there on time at 6:30. We visited for a little while and then got our plates and settled down to eat.

Chris didn't get there until after everyone had started eating at about 7:15. He made his plate and then came to sit down at the same table Shepard and I were sitting and eating. Chris was sitting there for a few minutes talking to our friends Paul and Shondra and me.

Shepard was sitting right next to me, and was obviously in la-la-land because he leaned really close to me and tapped me on the shoulder. He whispered to me, "Mommy, is that DaDa?". Ummm...I know he works a lot, but geesh...LOL!!

We all got a good giggle over that, and he looked a little bit embarrassed, but oh how cute it was! Arielle came over to the table and noticed her Daddy and she threw her arms around his neck and gave him a big hug. At least she recognized her Dada :)

I had a revelation at this dinner party. After dinner we listened to a presentation from an African missionary. He told so many stories about God and his miracles in his life and throughout his ministry in Africa. Amazing stories!!! We serve an awesome and miraculous God, one who pays attention to the details! Oh, to have the eyes to see all that He is doing around us every day! Here is a link to their ministry...

http://lastyearschristmasgift.com/

His wife was talking about doing VBS in the African villages and about how different it is from doing VBS in the United States. In the US the kids go to class for a few hours and then go home. In the African villages the kids stay at VBS for eight hours, and some of the kids stay for the entire four days because it's such a long walk to and from their villages. She said there was a line of them laying on the concrete all huddled together to sleep. That was when I had my a-ha moment.

These people are more poor than we as Americans can ever imagine. The average wage is two dollars a day. Can you imagine living on that? Well, I thought about the bag mat that I'm making for the homeless man on Cibolo Creek. That man chooses to live in that tent on Cibolo Creek. You might wonder how I know that...there was an actual newspaper article about him in the San Antonio Express last month.

These women and children don't choose to live in poverty like none of us will probably ever know. I decided that I want to make these bag mats for these women and children rather than the homeless people in San Antonio. The homeless here have the choice of going to a homeless shelter. They have options. The women and children in Africa don't. I'm going to finish the bag mat for the homeless man on Cibolo Creek, and get him a Bible to go along with it, but after that I'm going to make the bag mats for God's children in Africa.

My goal is to make one a month. I don't want to psyche myself out or put an expectation that I can't meet on my mission. If I can do more than one then great! If not, then fine. I'm going to try to find others that will catch my vision and join me in making these mats for the kids, and to help give them somewhere soft and warm to sleep. They are lightweight and easy to carry. They are free, other than the time you put in to making it. It's reusing an item that would otherwise fill up a landfill. It's recycling something we have plenty of in our homes. It just seems like a perfect way to help show love and God's kindness to the least of these. If anyone is interested in joining me in this mission then I would LOVE to have a partner, or five :)

If anyone has bags they can donate that would be much appreciated as well!! It's takes 500-700 bags to make one mat. Thank you so much!!!

http://www.lutheranchurchcharities.org/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=378:bag-mat-project-hd&catid=34:media&Itemid=117

Haiku

2009-11-17T21:54:00.000-06:00

I introduced haiku to my kids today in our homeschooling. You remember them from elementary school, right? They are the poems that originated from Japan with 17 syllables.

The American versions of haiku are usually in three rows with five syllables in the first row, seven syllables in the second row and five syllables in the third row. They are usually based around nature, but the American version is not limited to only poems about nature.

Here are some of the haiku that the kids and I came up with today...

Autumn is now here,
Beautiful leaves falling down,
Leaves and trees shedding.

Star Wars Trilogy
Anakin Skywalker has
crossed to the dark side.

Bionicles are
my favorite toy to play
with every day.

Aunt KneeC is sweet,
and she does not look like a
hippopotamus.

Noah obeyed God.
Rain, Rain, Rain kept falling down.
God kept His promise.

A lion against
a man of God, named Daniel.
God protects his child.

I spy with my eye,
a funny looking creature,
a rhinoceros.

Love surrounds our home.
We share in laughter and joy.
Where blessings abound.

I love to twirl,
to dance like ants in my pants.
A princess will dance.

Increase my faith, Lord...

2009-11-04T21:53:00.000-06:00

The apostles said to the Lord, "Increase our faith!"

He replied, "If you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mulberry tree, 'Be uprooted and planted in the sea,' and it will obey you.

Luke 17: 5-6

I want to start out by saying that I am not a theologian. I am just a girl, who is learning as much as I can about my faith and the awesome God that I serve. I'm praying to Him every day, and keeping my eyes and ears open to the lessons that He has for me. Some lessons are just so amazing that it's hard to keep them to yourself.

This last year has been hard for our family. VERY hard. Our faith has been tested and grown more in the last eighteen months then it has in our entire lifetime. I know that we are in a season, and this season has yielded good spiritual fruit in both my life and my husbands life, but the lessons haven't been easy and life hasn't always been rosy.

People sometimes think that the life of a Christian is easy because let's face it, there are some messed up doctrines out there that say "you can live your best life now" and "give to the church and you will prosper". I know that there are some churches that actually believe if you aren't prosperous then you must have terrible sin in your life. I even know of a mega-church in our area that believes this way.

I don't believe the life of a Christian will always be easy, or prosperous. I think we will most certainly face some fiery trials, and the more you try to walk in the ways of the Lord the more the enemy will attack you and try to get you to give up. Some of the most amazing Bible heroes, the ones that walked closest with God, went through many horrible trials, but they never lost their faith. Not even when they lost their life for their faith.

I know I'm babbling...lol. I'm trying to get to my point, but I have so much I could say about what God has been teaching me lately.

I don't think it's coincidence that I am currently doing the Daniel Bible Study. Lessons like Daniel in the Lions' Den, and Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego are so much deeper than I ever realized in Sunday School growing up. THAT is the kind of faith I want! The faith to buck what society is telling us is good and pleasing, and the faith to do only that which is good and pleasing in the eyes of the Lord, even unto death!

"O Nebuchadnezzar, we do not need to defend ourselves before you in this matter. If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to save us from it, and he will rescue us from your hand, O king. But even if he does not, we want you to know, O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up."

Daniel 3: 16-18

Most of our recent problems have been monetary. I hate to be so dramatic about money, because money is such a temporal thing. The only problem is that with the money problems comes many other problems. We have been on the cusp of losing our home and business for over a year now. We have barely made it, but by the grace of God. My husband has had some pretty severe health issues this last year, but they have had to go mostly untreated because of...you got it! Money.

We would most certainly survive if we lost our house and our business. It might hurt our pride, and it would probably be very uncomfortable in our lives for a while, but we would still be a family that is united in one purpose and goal. To love the Lord our God with all of our hearts, all of our minds, and all of our souls, and to love each other. God would get us through whatever storm we go through. We have given it over to him. He knows if this business will succeed or fail. He knows if we will be in our home for one more month or ten more years. He knows the desires of our hearts, but He also knows that we desire what He has for us more.

I feel like God has sustained us both through a lot of stressful times, but we are still humans with human emotions that sometimes get the best of us. The last couple of weeks have been pretty tough. We started out the month with a lot of obligations, a lot of bills due, and next to no money in the bank. We've been trying to keep our heads above water, but sometimes we feel so weighed down and helpless. Last Monday was one of those days. It had actually been culminating for a few days, but Monday it came to a head.

Chris tries to keep a lot of the stressful stuff from me, but he felt like I needed to know how bad things actually where at the time. I'm really glad he did, even though I cried rivers, I also rallied my prayer warriors and I truly believe God honored all of those prayers on our behalf.

So there I was last Monday. I wasn't feeling so great about life, especially with our financial situation. Chris was late for a second week in a row, and I was late again for Bible Study. I got to Bible Study and I couldn't get out of the van. I burst out crying. I put my head on the steering wheel and I literally cried out to God. Our home and business bank accounts were negative, and we'd had two big jobs go somewhat awry the three previous days (thus our bank accounts being negative). We needed those big jobs to go perfectly to come up with about half of our money for the bills this month (November). They didn't.

Here it was, the 26th of the month, and the only hope for our bills seemed to be slipping away. I should add here that our mortgage is still two months behind from the awful, awful winter we had last year. We didn't have one customer in three months last winter and a ton of our bills got behind. That was when we had to close our store in NB. Chris has worked so hard this year to pay off bills from last year, but he can only do so much. He's just one man. If we are even a day late on our mortgage we will be put in default, and they will start the process of foreclosure.

As I was crying out to God I asked him, "Do you even want us in this house, or for us to keep this business?". "Are we not in your will, God?". "Why is this so hard?". "Why can't we seem to catch a break?".

"Lord", I said, "please increase my faith because it's lacking right now!".

I felt so guilty for having that lack of faith.

I cried for about ten minutes in my van, pulled myself together and walked in to Bible Study. I had missed worship time, so I was going straight to our study discussion. My wonderful friend, Janella, was leading the discussion time, and as I was walking in she looked at me and said, "Are you okay?". My lip immediately started quivering and I said, "No."

We usually start our discussion time with prayer requests. Janella looked at me and said, "Do you want us to pray for you?". I started bawling again. She asked me if I wanted to share what was going on, or if she could just pray generally for us. My group of Bible Study girls know that we have been struggling with money because it has been a pretty constant prayer request for a couple of years now. Janella knows everything that we've been going through, so she would know how to pray for me, and I just couldn't find words to share everything that was going on at that moment. I asked for general prayers. My girls surrounded me and they prayed over me while I cried like a baby.

This is really hard to share.

When discussion time was over I slipped in to the bathroom and splashed some cool water on my face. I calmed myself down and I walked back out for the video lesson. It was at this point that someone handed me an envelope. I went to sit down, but decided to excuse myself to the restroom again to see what was inside of it. What I saw absolutely floored me. It was an anonymous check with exactly the amount to pay our mortgage for the month and our water bill that was due to be cut off that Friday. Remember, our bank account was negative at that moment. Wow...I had asked God to increase my faith just a few minutes earlier!

I know that some people don't believe in God, and they think prayer is essentially a person talking to themselves, but I'm here to testify that God is real! God cares about each of us and every trial that we are going through. God wants to hear our prayers, and he wants to increase our faith!

Of course I started bawling again after I opened that envelope. I have no idea who it came from, but I know that God placed it on their heart to give sacrificially to us. I pray that God will bless them SO MUCH MORE than they blessed us! I can't even put in to words how thankful I am for that gift. I brought it home to Chris and he was just as floored as I was. He thought it was amazing that someone would actually give to us like that and he vowed to work even harder than he has been to deem himself worthy of such a gift.

Let me tell you that feelings of guilt and unworthiness come along with such a gift. Janella reminded me that the money ultimately came from God, and that whoever gave it was just being obedient to what God put on their heart. That helped me. We have had to swallow our pride a lot this last couple of years, and maybe that is one of the things God is trying to burn out of our life. We have had to be fully dependent on Him, and I am here to say that He has never been late.

You might think that's the end of the story (and if you have made it this far then you might wish it was...LOL!) but it's not.

We now had the pressure of our mortgage taken off of our shoulders. God is so good. We still had to take care of the two jobs that had gone wrong, and come up with money to keep our store open for the month of November.

Chris worked late every day last week, trying to take care of those jobs and get some more business. He also had to change a battery in his truck and put on an alternator, by himself, with just a screwdriver and a pair of pliers. He did it, all with an air of peace and faith that I have never seen from him before. He made his installers work late on Tuesday and Wednesday to repair the one job, and when it was done the customers were happy.

The other job is defective, and the manufacturer is going to have to send a representative out to the job and do an inspection before they will give us a non-defective product, and they take their sweet little time when it comes to inspections. We don't expect them to set the appointment for at least a month. We've already paid for the product, but the customer won't pay us the rest of our money until the job is done right. We can't blame them, but it doesn't help us pay the bills. Chris was able to call the the distributor that we got the product from and asked them to please hold the check, and stop putting it through our bank account because it was bouncing and we didn't have the money to pay them. They offered to put him on a payment plan which then freed us up some money to pay some of our business bills. We were SO THANKFUL!!! That happened on Friday, the 30th.

He also found a card in his door asking to call him so he could buy about a thousand square feet of floors. He called them on Saturday and a job that was originally going to be a thousand square feet became an entire big house, paid in full! That was on Saturday, the 31st. With the profit from that job and the financing office putting us on a payment plan on the other job, we had the money to pay all of our bills at the store too. I believe that God is never late, but sometimes he waits to the very last hour, if for no other reason than to increase our faith!!

Is anyone still with me? Phew. That was like writing a book, but I feel so much better getting it all out on my journal. God gets all of the glory in our story and our life! I don't know how I went through life not fully reliant on Him. Things seemed easier back then, but my life is so much fuller and has much more depth and meaning now!

Thank you for listening to me ramble on and on. I pray that this might bless at least one person, and help them to ask God to increase their faith as well.

Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.

Hebrews 11:1

Drastic change is good...(Locks of Love)

2009-11-04T15:08:00.000-06:00

I'm looking in the mirror and I don't recognize myself. It's funny how much of my identity is tied up in my hair. I know it shouldn't be that way, but it has been my constant companion for better than five years now. It's been growing through three pregnancies. I could hide behind it. I could pull it up away from my face. My babies held on to it while nursing. My daughter thought it made her Mommy look beautiful.

Well, it's gone. I know it will grow back. I've told my kids that at least three times in the last two hours. Arielle watched me while I was getting my hair cut and she kept saying, "Mommy, you are cutting it too short". When we prayed over lunch, she prayed, "Help Mommy's hair to grow back", and a few minutes ago she told me, "I want my normal Mommy back".

I've explained to her why I cut my hair all off. I told her I was donating it to another little girl that will lose her hair to something called cancer. They know what cancer is because several people at our church have it, and we pray for them during each of our prayer times, but I don't think they realize that little girls can get it too.

I explained that an organization called "Locks of Love" will take my hair and help make a blond wig for a little girl just like her, and that that little girl will then have long beautiful hair again, despite her illness called cancer. I even asked her if she would be sad if all of her hair fell out, and that I did it to help another little girl and to make her happy. I've now told her a few times to pray for the little girl that will get my hair, especially when she looks at my hair and thinks that she doesn't like it. Hopefully she will get used to this new Mommy soon.

It feels better. It definitely needed to be cut in a major way. The last time I donated my hair was two years ago in December and I've had one trim since then, so it really, really, REALLY needed a good shearing. I am going to a wedding this weekend in Houston, and I didn't want to go with stringy, broken hair so off it went. I asked the hair dresser at Super Cuts if Locks of Love could even use my hair since it was so damaged and they assured me that they could. She told me it would be just above my shoulders, but it's more like chin length. Now THAT is a drastic change! I'll get used to it, it just might take a little bit of time :)

Update:

I just showed Arielle the website to Locks of Love and showed her pictures of the little kids it helps, and she just told me that she wants to give her hair to little girls when it gets long enough :)

http://www.locksoflove.org/mission.html

Thanksgiving...

2009-10-20T16:49:00.000-05:00

God knows my prayers. He knows my needs. He knew them before I knew them. I am clinging to so much of his Word right now.

Philippians 4: 6-7 are two of my favorite verses in the Bible. He knows my petitions, so I thought I'd make a list of the things I'm thankful for. I will have them in black and white to remind me of during the days ahead. I'm not sure what is ahead for us, but I know that God is walking with us and He will not leave our side.

Things I'm thankful for:

~ The extravegance of God.
~ The simplicity of God.
~ Knowing He will never leave me, nor forsake me.
~ The sacrifice made on the old rugged cross that bought me freedom and salvation.
~ Walking in that freedom and salvation.
~ My family.
~ My perfectly imperfect husband.
~ The lessons he is being taught both spiritually and temporally.
~ Our beautiful children.
~ Being able to spend my days with them and teaching them the ways of God.
~ Seeing them grow up and not missing a thing.
~ The friends God has brought in to my life, both near and far.
~ The way my friends rally around me, and pray with me, and cry with me, when I need them.
~ Seeing how God sends someone along beside me in my time of despair who knows...
~ Figuring out who will stand by you through thick and thin.
~ Knowing that God has my days numbered, and no one can steal even one day from my life.
~ The sound of a beautiful song praising my Creator.
~ The laughter of my children.
~ A hug from my Daddy (either one).
~ The smell of the turkey roasting in my oven.
~ Listening to my kids play nicely together.
~ The cooler weather that has blessed us recently.
~ My church family.
~ My Monday night Bible Study.
~ Growing in God's Word.
~ Victory over strongholds.
~ The provision that God has shown us. He is never late, and we are truly blessed.

I'm sure I could probably keep going and going because I have so much to be thankful for, but I need to finish dinner right now. I'll add more as I think of them.

Just in case I forget all that I have to be thankful for in the days ahead, please refer me back to my list. I have no excuses to not fully trust in God and His perfect timing.

Cute things kids say...

2009-10-17T10:30:00.000-05:00

Arielle and I were going through some baby clothes we had gotten from a homeschooling swap yesterday. A girl from our church is having her first baby, and I said I hoped it was a boy so i could give her some of these precious clothes.

Sissy said to me, "I know why you want Jenny to have a boy".

Jenny is another lady at church who is having a baby.

I said, "Sissy, I'm talking about another lady. Jenny is having a little girl"....

She looked at me with her big, wide, blue eyes and said in all seriousness, "Does she get to KEEP her?" LOL =)

Boy, do I have a story to tell...

2009-10-13T22:59:00.000-05:00

(Written on June 15, 2009)

Have you ever had an experience where you were able to have a front row seat to God raining down his blessing on someone else? I have. It was seriously one of the coolest experiences of my life, and to this moment still doesn't feel like it could have really happened....but it did!

My story starts WAY back in February when I started hearing these little rumblings about an event called Freedom '09. My friend, Leora, had invited me to take part in this event and asked for prayer over it as it was being planned and brought to fruition. I RSVP'd that I would be attending and was very curious as to what it was all about. I kept up with the progress of the event, and looking back now I wish I would have jumped in and volunteered to help with the event. I think that God probably didn't lead me towards volunteering because he had a special plan for ME to be ministered to AT the event. I did join the others in prayer for Freedom '09, and waited to see how it would all come together.

Time kind of got away from me, as it usually does, and I didn't realize that the event date was finally here. A friend asked me if we were going to go to Freedom '09 last Wednesday, and I'm so glad she did because I might have spaced it if she hadn't (I seem to do that a lot...something I'm working on...).

I called my friend Leora the next day and asked her how it was all going. She caught me up on everything and then told me that she and her husband were volunteering to work the event. I was excited to get to see her because we haven't seen each other in entirely too long.

I put out a Facebook notice trying to get as many of my friends to go as possible. I'm sure y'all remember the notes. Several of my friends ended up going, so that was fun. Most of us sat near one another and we took up almost two full rows! I felt like a lucky charm because four of the people that I invited all ended up winning prizes that night! How cool is that? I was so happy for each of them!

The event was scheduled for last Friday, the 12th. It was from 6:00 to 10:00 pm. I went not knowing if we would stay for the entire thing since I've got little ones and you just never know what's going to happen (having three young children is truly living life on the edge...lol). We got there at 6:15, and immediately when you entered the Civic Center you would fill out a slip of paper for the many raffles for the evening, the big one being a Harley Davidson. Chick-fil-a was giving away FREE chicken nuggets and drinks (THANKS CHICK-FIL-A!!), so we got our goodies and started looking for our friends. There were a lot of people when we got there, the entire place seemed full. I'm curious as to how many people ended up showing up, so if anyone has the inside info then I'd love to know!

We got settled in to our seats with our friends all surrounding us, and from that point on thoroughly enjoyed the show. They had various musicians, from a Christian rock band, to a rapper, to a worship leader. The had a dramatic performance of the Lifehouse "Everything" skit. They had key speakers, Jon Sheptock (AMAZING testimony, btw) and Big James Henderson (the kids LOVED him!). My kids were transfixed through most of the evening, riveted by every word that was said on that stage. They did raffles throughout the evening, and like I said several of our friends won (out of a crowd of hundreds and hundreds of people) so that was really cool.

Finally, after the last song was sung and the last message was delivered it was time for the big raffle....the Harley.

Now let me go back a little bit and let you in on a few of the conversations that my friend, Amy, and I had had over the course of the evening. She and her boys were sitting right next to us the entire evening, so we talked for several hours (it was nice to get to know you better, Amy :).
When she got there at about six thirty she told me that she put her husband, James, down on the raffle ticket. Her husband is currently deployed in Iraq, and he's been there for almost a year (I believe...). He was just back in the states for two weeks of rest and relaxation last month. While he was home he told Amy that he wanted to buy a Harley. She currently has some big dreams of her own (building a house when he gets back) so she asked if he would at least hold off until they could discuss it more when he got home. He agreed.

The entire evening she talked about the Harley like she had already won it, jokingly of course, but it still made the end of the evening that much more exciting! She talked about how cool it would be if she did win, and how much her husband would LOVE it! Every time her name wasn't called for another raffle she didn't sweat it because she wanted the big prize.

My husband, Chris, got to Freedom '09 at about 7:30, just as she was taking her kids out for a potty break. She walked up behind him while he was filling out his raffle ticket and said, "You're wasting your time because I'm winning that Harley".

At one point in the evening the announcer was talking about the lasting gift that people would win at this conference was a relationship with Jesus (so true), and that all of the other prizes were temporal (also very true). He said, "The Harley will break down one day...". Amy said jokingly under her breath, "Hey man, don't put a curse on my Harley"....lol. She talked about it the whole night like it was already hers. I am NOT one of the "name it and claim it" type of people, and I know she was just kidding through out the evening, but it just seems like God used that night to knock the socks off of her and I, and show us both that HE COULD pick that name out of the hat! I don't know how many people were there, but God gave us a Proverbs 16:33 moment!

It came time for the name to be announced for the Harley. Chris asked me later why I wasn't video taping when they did the Harley raffle? To be honest I didn't even THINK to video tape it. As nice as it would be, I didn't seriously think any of us would win out of ALL of those people in that building. In hindsight, I wish I would have videotaped.

The winner is....the announcer prolongs announcing the name by saying he couldn't read the last letter of the name...

I said, "It HAS to be someone on this row!".

Chris yells out, "Amy Hol***".

We never really wanted ourselves to win, we really wanted James to win it!

...JAMES HOL***!!

I think I screamed, "WHAAATTTT!?!?!?!" and gave Amy a BIG HUG!!

Our two rows broke out in all sorts of craziness! We were a-hooping and a-hollering and jumping up and down like fools...lol :) I think I lost my mind at that very moment. Amy was in shock...lol.

I went up to the stage with Amy so I could take pictures and videos, and we informed the guy on stage (Vince) that the winner was actually serving in Iraq and his wife had entered him in to the raffle.

Vince brought Amy and the boys on stage and honored them and their father. It was one of the sweetest things I've ever seen, and I'm SO thankful to have had my video camera with me to capture the moment. Here's a clip of the video...

(Deleted for privacy. If you know me ask me for a link.)

Levi stole the show, right? What a cutey :)

A big group of us proceeded out to the front of the building to where the Harley was parked so we could oooooh and aaaaaah over James' new ride. It was BEAUTIFUL! Vince told us that they had prayed that the person that would win the bike would be someone that would truly want it, and someone that God could honor with the bike. I might be biased, but I know that James is that man. His wife wanted nothing more than to bless her husband, and God made that become a reality.

The whole thing seemed surreal. I was THRILLED to be a part of it, and I am still thanking God for putting me in the front row of that blessing. I cherish the moments where I can see God move in a huge way. I know that this bike will help to be a therapy of sorts for when James gets back stateside. I have a strong feeling that God will be meeting James on the back of that Harley, and ministering to him in a MIGHTY way. What a blessing :)

Thank you, Vince and everyone else at Freedom '09! I am so thankful and humbled by your hard work to win people to the kingdom. It was an evening anointed by the Holy Spirit and I'm sure that everyone that was there had an experience with Him that night. Maybe not as tangible and huge as our experience with Him, but even a breath of God is better than any motorcycle or free entertainment. I pray that next year is just as successful! I'd love to help out in any way I can!

See you at Freedom '10!!

Here are a couple more video links from the night. What a fun evening :)

The new Harley...

(Deleted for privacy. If I know you then ask me for the link.)

"God of this City"...

(Deleted for privacy. If I know you then ask me for the link.)

A prayer from our Daniel Bible Study tonight...

2009-10-12T22:36:00.000-05:00

I, __(Destiny)__, belong to God. I am a holy vessel because I house the Holy Spirit of the Living God. The Lord of heaven and earth has said over me, "I declare you holy". Today I commit to start believing what He says. I am holy. Empower me daily, Spirit of the Living God, to treat my body as holy. Open my eyes to every scheme of the enemy to treat me as if I'm not. You, God, are God! Your Word is TRUE. This day, Father, I choose to believe You. Amen.

A theory on the Anti-Christ (humor)...

2009-10-10T16:02:00.000-05:00

I have a silly theory, and it's totally for humor! I don't really believe this could happen, but I think it would be funny...

What if the "birthers" were right, and BO wasn't really born here? What if it came to light that he was actually born in Kenya? Do you think he would be expelled at this point with the slobbering love affair that has gone on throughout his presidency?

I don't think so.

I think the Liberal Congress would change the laws to suit their Golden Boy, and there isn't much we could do about it.

Stay with me here....

Now, with the laws changed, it would make it possible for Arnorld Schwarzenegger to become President. You KNOW that he would be voted in by a landslide since Americans LOOOOVE a celebrity. You know the world would fawn and drool all over him.

I'm not sure exactly "where" the Anti-Christ is supposed to come from, but I "believe" Ah-nold comes for the right general vicinity...

...and wouldn't God have quite the sense of humor if it turned out that the "The Terminator" was actually the the Anti-Christ?

=)

Grammar girl widget....

2009-10-09T22:18:00.000-05:00

I'll be the first one to say that I'm not the best when it comes to grammar. I don't know all of the rules for where a semi-colon or ellipses goes, and I'm not always right when it comes to present-tense vs. past-tense.

I do the best I can to not sound like a complete uneducated schmuck while (or whilst?) writing. If you knew what my schooling was like during the most formative years then you'd probably think I was doing a pretty good job. I just barely got an education throughout all of my high school years. Everything I know is pretty much from my Mom helping me, and from the 30 hours I took in college.

I say all of this as a disclaimer because I don't want people to think I'm some grammar guru just because I have a "Grammar Girl" widget on my page. As a matter of fact, I'm sure there should probably be a comma in that last sentence somewhere. Perhaps I should go ask Grammar Girl :)

I put the widget there to help me when I have a question about grammar, and to help me sound a little bit more edumacated =)

I think I'm married to Superman =)

2009-10-08T21:22:00.000-05:00

I'm not trying to brag. I'm really not....BUT, I feel like I'm married to Superman :)

He impresses me all of the time!!

We've had several things go wrong this last week, along with a couple of things that have been ongoing problems.

My car started acting up, which he tried to fix, but it needs to go to the car doctor.

The kids toilet broke.

Our A/C stopped working.

These are the problems we've had this week, or today.

My van has needed a battery and it's A/C fixed all summer. We parked it about six months ago.

Our roof has had a leak for about two years. Texas has been in a drought, and we've had a struggling small business, so we've just let that go.

Well, with the recent rains it looks like that repair might need to move up on our to-do list.

Chris came home tonight and I didn't have a vehicle to drive to co-op tomorrow, our house was hot because the A/C was out, and the toilet was broken.

The last time he had to fix the wires on the A/C it took him at least two hours. I figured he'd be out there working on it well in to the night, and the other things would have to wait until tomorrow, which would mean we wouldn't be able to meet our obligations at co-op in the morning.

I even belly-ached about it on Facebook.

Silly me...ye of little faith.

Chris was out there for an hour. He came in about fifteen minutes ago and told me that he had fixed the wires on the A/C, put a new battery on the van, and was trying to fix the blower to the A/C on the van, and had the toilet taken apart and ready to be put back together...

In an hour!!

Not only that, but he came in to put the kids to bed for me.

What did I do to deserve a man this impressive?

Now, I know some people are probably thinking..."stop putting him on a pedestal"..."he's NOT perfect".

I live with him. I know he's not perfect, but he's darn close in my eyes!

He's a WONDERFUL husband and father. He accepts me with all of my weird passions and idiosyncrasies. He loves me without condition, and he's my very best friend on this earth.

I feel so blessed that God fearfully and wonderfully created him, and then decided to give him to ME!

I am a very blessed woman, indeed =)

Ewww, ewww, ewww...

2009-10-07T22:33:00.000-05:00

I just saw a commercial for the new Melrose Place, and I'm disgusted with myself that I used to watch that show. Granted, the vintage show probably wasn't as bad as the new one, considering how far our values have disintegrated over the last ten to fifteen years. The commercial was completely sexual, with shots of an almost bare booty and everything. I can't believe it's being marketed to teenagers, which probably shows my age. I'm getting so old and un-hip...lol. I am probably considered a prude these days, but that's okay I'll wear it proudly.

We watched a new comedy sitcom the other night. Apparently, it's one of the new top-rated comedies of the season. About half-way through it, Chris and I looked at each other and said this is awful! One of the big laughs of the show was a scene where the middle-aged (40 year old) divorced Mom was having a one-nighter with a barely legal (21ish year old) boy. They are in her backyard, and she is venturing down south when her son and ex-husband walk in and interrupt her and her boytoy. How...is...this...funny? It's gross. It's disturbing. And it's far from funny. I think it's really sad. :(

I wonder how much farther we will fall? What will be acceptable on television in ten more years? What will be marketed to teenagers? I think it goes beyond teenagers though. How many people of faith will watch these shows? Will they feel any conviction when watching them? These are all tough questions, and I don't really expect an answer. I'm not perfect, but I know that God has been convicting me in a lot of areas in my life. My convictions are between me and God, just as yours are between you and Him. We will all be held accountable for the things we watch, the way we speak, the way we act, and the way we represent our Father in heaven. I believe that Christians should have higher standards than that of the world.

Our standard is this....

...whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.

Philippians 4: 8-9

Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

Romans 12: 1-2

By golly, I think I've got it!!

2009-10-07T16:40:00.000-05:00

I spent about three hours trying to change the background for this silly blog last night, with absolutely no luck. One small tip from my friend, Diana, made all of the difference in the world! Thank you, D, for letting me in on the little secret :)

This background will do for now. I like it. It's cute. It fits me and my blog. I'll work on it some more another day. I want to figure out how to do all of those cute little widgets, and how to put a song on my background.

I wonder if anyone could guess which song I want to use?

This is a fun little site! Why didn't anyone INSIST that I do it sooner...lol?

Oh well, better late than never :)

My "legendary fish tale" and other random musings from our family weekend

2009-10-07T11:08:00.000-05:00

(This was written September 22, 2009)

How can I describe how wonderful it was to spend the weekend as a family together for four days, with no outside distractions?

Chris and I have been married for eight and a half years, and we have never been on a vacation as a family. Unless you consider a weekend in Galveston a vacation, considering we lived there for nine years...

This was the first time we've been able to do something as a family, and actually enjoy each other for an extended period of time. I'm not sure if it was smart to close our store for four days, but the memories that we made this weekend were priceless.

HUS camp was kind enough to allow us to stay at their facility for a tiny fraction of the price that it would have cost us to stay at the local hotel, and we had all of their wonderful amenities at our fingertips.

A huge kitchen and fellowship hall, complete with a fooseball table, ping-pong table and piano.

A fun playground and lots of acres for the kids to run around and play.

Access to the bike shed and ball shed, which meant lots of riding on the acreage, and shooting some hoops on the basketball courts.

A pond to fish in, with lots of poles and tackle boxes to help us all to be able to fish together.

A miniature golf course, and probably more that I'm forgetting about.

Last but not least, comfortable cabins for all of us to sleep in, and we had them filled up on Friday night.

My Grandparents, my Parents, my Brother and SIL and their four kids, my MIL, and our family were all out there until Saturday evening.

Saturday night was just us Emery's, my MIL and my Brother's family.

We were supposed to come home on Sunday, but we were having such a good time that we decided to stay one more night.

It was just amazing, and fun, and frankly I'm a little bit sad to be home again.

Back to life, back to reality...lol.

You're probably wondering what the "legendary fish tale" means in my title post.

Well, first let me tell you that I learned to fish this weekend. When I arrived at camp on Friday I didn't even know how to cast a fishing pole.

Seriously.

I'd tried to cast out at the last retreat, and I just couldn't do it. I felt really silly because it didn't look hard...lol.

I'm proud to say that I now know how to cast a line in to the water...whoo-hoo! :)

I caught about six or seven fish this weekend, so I was pretty proud of myself. I took a picture of most of the fish that I caught...

Except one...

Sunday morning we all went down to the pond to fish while it was still cooler outside. The fish go deeper in to the pond as the day heats up, so we thought this would be the best time to give it a shot.

Turns out the fish weren't very hungry, or something, cuz nothing was going on. After two hours, and only two fish caught, my husband decided he WAS hungry, unlike the fish in the pond. He and my brother and most of the kids headed back up to the camp to start making some breakfast and play at the playground.

All that was left at the pond was me, my SIL, my nephew and Noah.

Not two minutes after everyone left, I threw my line in to the water and as soon as that worm hit the water my bobber went straight to the bottom. I started to reel it in, and it was a struggle.

This was a big one!!

Now, everything else we caught this weekend was about one to three pounds. Nothing super huge. As a matter of fact, I didn't think that there were any big fish in the pond. Until that bobber went down so fast.

I pulled and struggled with my line, wishing Chris were around to share in my excitement, until I pulled this beautiful fish out of the water. It was about a foot and a half to two feet long, and probably between eight to ten pounds. I think it was a Big Mouth Bass because it had a really big mouth, and it looked like a BMB that Chris caught later in the day (except his was only about two pounds...heeheehee).

I pull out my camera ready to take a picture of my big prize and wouldn't you know my camera battery was dead...?!?!

NOOOOOOO!!!!

I had even thought about getting up in the middle of the night to charge it but decided to sleep instead, and MAN was I kicking myself for that decision!!

We tried to put it in a bucket, so we could go get everyone and bring them back down to see it, but my nephew didn't put enough water in the bucket because this fish was so big that it darn near took up the entire bucket. My SIL went to put more water in the bucket and my "legendary fish tale" jumped right out that bucket towards freedom.

I have no proof of my beautiful, monumental (in my mind anyway...lol) catch.

I'm super thankful that I, at least, have eyewitnesses, otherwise I don't think anyone would have believed me! I'm especially thankful that Noah was there to witness it, and be a part of that moment with me.

I was really bummed to find out that my SIL had a camera phone sitting on the table, if we had only thought to use it to take a picture....GRRRRR.

I tried for the rest of our retreat to catch him again, with no luck. I told the caretaker of the camp about my "legendary fish tale", and he had no idea that there was a fish that size in the pond, and he fishes there a lot.

Anyway, it was a lot of fun, and really exciting for me! I caught the biggest fish of the weekend, even though hardly anyone got to see it!! Go me!!! :)

Here are some of my insights, and things I learned over our weekend:

1) Life still goes on without Facebook....lol. I only thought about it twice, believe it or not!

2) It's actually quite pleasant to live a simple life...no phone, television, computer, texting, hussle and bussle, etc...

3) I can put a worm on a hook AND take a fish off of one.

4) God's creation and handiwork are awesome...from the music that the rustling treetops make, to the sound of laughter coming from my kids as they play with their Father, without a care in the world, to the beautiful intricate makings of a Big Mouth Bass, to the gorgeous pink sunset on the way home.

5) I'm a lot like my Grandparents. It's too bad I don't know them better than I do.

6) After fifteen years I can still ride a bike. I guess it's true that you never forget how to ride one. I enjoyed the heck out of our bike ride too, and wish we all had bikes and a safe place to ride them at home.

7) My kids feet must be made of rubber. They stayed barefoot most of the weekend, even after my constant urging to keep their shoes on.

8) Skin-So-Soft does nothing to repel mosquitoes. As a matter of fact, I think it attracts them.

9) ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS charge your camera battery!

10) I hope we can make this an annual family retreat :)

Night time prayers

2009-10-06T23:45:00.000-05:00

We've had a bedtime routine with our kids for as long as they can remember. One of us reads them a few books, and Noah now reads from his book to us. We brush teeth, go to the bathroom and get in to bed.

When everyone is all snuggled in to bed, hugged and kissed, and tucked in tight, we go around and say our night time prayers. It goes something like this....

Noah:

Now I lay me down to sleep,

I pray the Lord my soul to keep.

May angels watch me through the night,

until I wake in morning light.

We all say amen.

Arielle:

Dear Lord, thank you for my Daddy, and thank you for my Mommy, and thank you for my two brothers.

We all say amen.

Shepard:

Dear Lord, thanks you for a-Daddy a-food, a-Mommy a-food, a-Baca a-food, a-Pawpaw a-food, a-Meemaw a-food, a-Arielle a-food, a-Noah a-food, a-Shepard a-food, a-Daddy a-food, a-Mommy a-food....(this sometimes goes on for a couple of rounds)...

We all say amen.

Then either Chris or I, whoever is putting them to sleep, will say a prayer with all of them.

We all say amen.

We usually lay in there for about ten minutes with the kids, and then we sneak out to our freedom for the night.

It's been the same, night after night, for as long as they can remember. Kids thrive in structure, and mine are proof. They very rarely get out of bed once they've been put down for the evening.

I love watching their sweet faces as they drift off to sleep. I silently thank God again for blessing me with these precious little souls. I don't know what I did to deserve them, but I'm beyond thankful that God trusted me to be their mother.

Teaching my kids the Bible

2009-10-06T13:30:00.001-05:00

We start out every school day with about thirty to forty-five minutes of Bible Study and prayer time. My kids learning about the Word of God is the most important aspect of our homeschooling, and a big reason why we chose to homeschool.

I grew up going to church three times a week, but didn't really learn much about the Bible or have a solid Biblical foundation (worldview). I'm not sure if it was the churches I went to, or my unwillingness to conform to what the churches were teaching. Either way, I want different for my children.

We have been on this journey together, to learn more about the infallible, inerrant Word of God. Reading and learning the treasures and truths that the Bible teaches us is very exciting to me! I remember telling one of my non-Christian friends that I was excited to go to Bible Study, and her response was a bewildered, "Oh, you do one of those?".

YES, I do one of THOSE!

"THOSE" have changed my life!! I'm forever grateful for the Women's Bible Study offered through my church. It has opened my eyes to the secular, "Babylonian", unbiblical way my thinking used to be. Beth Moore has been a fantastic teacher of His Word, and helped to lay a solid foundation in my prayer and spiritual life. One that I can now pass on to my children!

Today we were going over some of the different versions of the Bible. We pulled together all of the Bibles in our house, and compared verses with each of them. We compared the Lord's prayer, Luke 11: 2-4, and the "ask, seek, knock" verses, Luke 11: 9-13. The Bible versions that were represented were KJV, NKJV, NIV, NCV and the HCSB.

I think my kids understood that they were all the Holy Word of God, just each translated in a different way, and that some are more understandable than others. We really only scratched the surface this morning, but at least they are now aware that Bibles have different versions. One of these days we will get in to the difference between a translation and a paraphrase, and that, in my opinion, translations are better interpretations than a paraphrase. I think that might be a little bit above their heads at this point, considering they are only seven, four and three.

I pray that the seeds that are being planted today will grow in to mighty oaks in their future. I pray that the foundation that is being poured out today will be a solid foundation on the Rock of Ages. I pray that I am teaching them in solid, Biblical truths that will last them a lifetime. I pray that I am able to teach my children the ways of the Lord, and that he will lead them on a straight path. I pray that we will continue this awesome, exciting journey of seeking out the truth together, and growing in His great abundance and love!

Fix these words of mine in your hearts and minds; tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Teach them to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates, so that your days and the days of your children may be many in the land that the LORD swore to give your forefathers, as many as the days that the heavens are above the earth.

Deutoronomy 11: 18-21

So, I have a blog now!

2009-10-06T00:37:00.000-05:00

I've been doing the social networking thing for a few years now, but have never taken the leap to actually blog. My thoughts...out there for the entire world to see. It's a daunting thought to me. I'm not sure why.

My hope is that this blog will help to awaken a hidden passion of mine...writing. I'm not sure if anyone will read what I have to say. I'm not sure if I will actually have anything TO say. It's all very uncertain at this point, but I can't wait to see how it all unfolds! I will be writing about all of my passions...God, faith, family, values, worldviews, homeschooling, and any funny things that might happen as the mother of three. I can be very passionate, and yet I can be very light-hearted. It depends on what mood you might find me in. Enjoy the ride!!

Father God,
Thank you for loving me. Thank you for your many blessings in my life. It's my hope to share those blessings with others, and journal all of the new insights that you give me in to life and love. I give this blog to you, and ask that it will be used for your glory. Please help me to not dishonor you or my family in any way on the future pages of this journal. Thank you for loving me, and sending your son to die for me. I love you so very much.
Amen